Onision Speaks Blog

From Life of Onion
Jump to: navigation, search

Onision Speaks Blog was a blog Greg maintained in 2013 on his Onision Speaks Website. (Source)

January 14, 2013

New UhOhBro!

Does this make me gay? :)

[Embedded Video]

January 15, 2013


I sense much resistance to rise from this video… SLENDER REACTIONS!!! RRRRG!!!

[Embedded Video]

New FAQ Page!

If you want a question added to the new FAQ page ( http://onisionspeaks.com/faq ) please just ask me it in the comments below, I’ll consider it for adding! :)

However for now, check it out! :) Click: http://www.onisionspeaks.com/faq/

OMG!!! No… really…

A collection of images that… uuugh… wow.

[Embedded Video]

Confessions Script

Hey bananas! This script is NOT complete, however these are the lines that as of now, still need to be accomplished. Hope you enjoy!

*introduction vlog*

White: Sometimes I pick my nose…
*show nose*
White: Till it bleeds.
*show blood*

Dale: I jerk it to Rod’s friends sometimes. <nowiki>*Dale: How you doing Sharron?
*Sharron: Oh, I’m good, is Rod here?
*Dale: Gotta go!
*Sharron: …um.
*Dale: *runs in closet*
*Sharron: Is Rod here?

Rod: I hate lazy people…
*Rod: Hey White, are you going to help me with the lawn or what?
*White: Is that a trick question?
*Rod: Get off your ass!
*White: I’m on my back, not my ass…
*White: Are you auditioning to be the T-Rex in Jurassic Park 4?
*Rod: *angry face*
*White: Cuz you got it.

Dale: Sometimes the bathroom is just too far away… and I’m a guy so…
*show dale peeing in the sink*

Rod: I’m the one who graffitied Onision’s Garage.
*show Rod writing a hateful message on garage*
*Onision: HEY!
*Rod: *runs away screaming*

White: I’m attracted to my cousin.
*White: Just trying to give you a hint!
*Rod: Received & rejected!

*additional lines to be added*

January 16, 2013


Hope you MEGA love the new Onision video!!!! Check it out:

[Embedded Video]

She put her cell phone… WHERE!?

This video is all kinds of screwed up… the ending really freaked me out :P

[Embedded Video]

January 17, 2013

Internet Blue-Be-Dues

Rant offline, lasts for a short moment. Rant online, lasts forever. You can move on, but the internet never will.

That’s probably why so many people go offline for good once the receive a bit of criticism, too many people hearing about what happened months, even years ago, but still treating it as if it’s new information…

The people I’m not interested in, I don’t talk about… so, at least people are interested, though I wish they’d focus on what they love… it’s just healthier.

Hypocrisy… possibly… but I’m rarely talking about what people don’t bring up… so… that’s my story, what is theirs?

Ugh… whatever, we’re lucky to have computers, let alone food & shelter. Better I just shut the fluck up and count my blessings.

Hope you’re having an awesome day bananas :) Stay strong.

Anti-Gays Are Gay

If you don’t agree with this video, you might be gay… which is ironic… incredibly ironic :)

[Embedded Video]


Do you use 4Chan? LOL :) Awesome…

[Embedded Video]

Something about love…

As of late I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I am loved by some… specifically the people in my life, both those I often interact with on the web, and in person…

Love is a really tricky thing… I say this because some people, you truly want to believe love you, but only in the long run do you find out their love is meaningless… and often, solely selfish.

Meanwhile others love you to such an extent, that it almost makes you feel bad, as if you need to do more for them just to deserve the amount of kindness… consideration they show you… putting you above so many obligations in their life, exercising so many positive thoughts in your direction, a seemingly constant compliment to your existence.

[Instagram selfie]

Today I feel more loved than I have ever felt in my life. I know I have shown love with such intensity in the past, but so often was that love tricked into it’s very creation… so often was that “returned” love a mistake.

It’s just something that isn’t very easy to understand till you experience it, but more importantly, acknowledge it.

That somewhat brings me to a related discussion, which is the difference between someone who loves you spontaneously, with little knowledge of your true nature, vs those who love you only after truly understanding your foundation. Someone who falls in love rapidly, it seems to often be more about themselves, and their desperation for love, than acquiring something genuine & ready for the test of time.

I speak not only of my personal life, but of bananas & my every social interaction which holds relevance.

I see many “#1 fans” & acquaintances come and go, but some people, who have been supportive & consistently so… friends, fans… they’re pretty much the same thing when they are realistic about how the feel for me.

It’s nice to see a stranger say “I love you so much!” but it’s even more profound to see someone who you know has been watching you, who has known of your online existence/true personality for years say “I love you so much!”.

If you have been supporting me for some time, know you do not go unappreciated, it’s quite the opposite actually. The reason is I know you, above so many, truly connect with me, and after everything, continue to stand by me.

I am lucky to have so many loving people in my life… and that is why I’m taking this time to show my gratitude.

Thank you so very much.

January 18, 2013

Special guest in today’s video… who was it?

January 18, 2013

Who is the voice in this video? :D

[Embedded Video]

Damian is Pewdiepie?

MakeMeBad35 sounded a whole lot like Pewdiepie in this video… LOL :D

[Embedded Video]

January 19, 2013

We Pranked The Delivery Guys :)

Posting this early here so you have the best chance to see it early! :) Special thanks to Prankkbros & JStuStudios for doing an awesome job!!! They’ll have sequels to this video on their channels soon :)

[Embedded Video]


A pretty fun collection of gross stuff I found :)

[Embedded Video]


What do you think of Westboro?

[Embedded Video]

January 20, 2013

Are you having problems with your parents?

I’ve experienced my parental selfishness, and tough love… fortunately I believe & hope there are more people who put their children before themselves, and punish only to improve… ideally, a parent wants what is best for the ones they love more than anything… “self” ceases to exist when the well-being/stability of your child is put into question.


Last night was the most stressful in months…

(Admin note: This entry was part of a failed prank with YouTuber OutBackZack when they were on Prank Tour.)

Last night someone, who was clearly drunk as he has been drunk every night since he got here, was holding a bottle of hard liquor and still was this morning, lost it on me for interrupting what he was saying.

Most every time I interrupted what he was saying it was to ask him to clarify what he meant, to paraphrase, as what was being said did not make sense. I also interrupted to simply counter their argument, and ironically, he would interrupt me when I spoke as well, but with yelling.

The first time I interrupted him, it was so everyone could watch the latest prank video everyone in the room contributed to outside him. I understand it is rude to interrupt people, however initially I was excited about the video as I had just finished editing it for a channel that belongs to one of my new friends here.

The person I edited the video for asked everyone to watch it, but they didn’t hear him as the drunk guy was talking over him. That was when I interrupted him to get everyone’s attention for the first time.

He completely lost it on me with hostility, yelling at me reminding me he was talking when all I wanted was for everyone in the room to enjoy the video they were in.

Something you should know, the drunk man has a bad past with me, so this didn’t entirely come out of nowhere. He actually parodied my banana song using my instrumental for the song, he specifically made the video to publicly mock my choice to be a vegetarian… months later when I met him at VidCon, not knowing who he was at first, only after introducing himself did he state not only did he have no remorse in the mockery of a lifestyle I care a lot about, but also stated his song was better than mine… Banana Song. I went back to my hotel shortly after, and literally the entire trip back he was walking next to me in the group we were in still insisting his video was so much better than one of my most cherished videos, and ignoring me asking him not to talk to me, repeatedly.

When I spoke to DeeFizzy about what happened at VidCon with him, Damon stated he went to high school with the drunk man, and had nothing good to say about him, it was in fact the opposite.

Coming back to present events, last night he said he was trying to help everyone with survival on YouTube, and I pointed out many of the people in the room were doing incredibly well on YouTube and didn’t need the advice.

At that point he was standing up walking around with his alcohol at this point demanding I leave the room.

At this point he had repeatedly cussed at me, consistently yelled at me, while I remained hostility free and tried to have him finish what he was saying so I could understand what he was saying as, still, no one else could explain it either. When I asked everyone, they just asked me to ask him again, so I did, many times.

He had made it to the opposite side of the large room and was now yelling about how I wasn’t worth his tome anymore. He went out on the balcony so I started talking about the next prank with everyone else, which apparently is going to be the most extreme of all the delivery pranks we previously did. The drunk man reentered the room, slightly cooled down, so to avoid further freak outs, I went and recorded my Speaks video and went to bed.

The first time he freaked, I left the room right away saying “This is why we don’t hang out, you’re such a f***ing douche to me”. I did not yell this, only muttered it in response to him exploding on me for asking people to watch the video they were in.

I was only around the second time he exploded on me because I was asked by the same guy I made the video for to return and watch it with everyone. The drunk man was ready to watch it too.

Everyone was laughing hysterically at the video, even the drunk guy, but once the video was done, he began to talk about being successful on YouTube… which is where I asked him the questions I did, the the second freak out began.

The reasons I’m saying all this is (1) explain why I will not be doing further prank gatherings so long as he is present (2) share my story…

Right now the same drunk guy is acting like it never happened, and that everything is cool, but I do not forget, nor do I have any interest in interacting with people who are going to lose it on me like this…

Regardless, thank you for reading. If you’ve been subjected to the presence of of an angry drunk, this probably all sounds familiar.

Bottom line, I’m here to do prank videos and enjoy them with my friends here, not to be yelled and cussed at.

In other news, I’m really looking forward to recording with BlackBoxTV soon. They are always so kind to me.

I wrote this all on my iPhone… so pardon any grammatical errors :P


A video about anon… or the funnier side of it at least :)

[Embedded Video]

January 21, 2013

Was it rape?

Someone wrote me asking if what they went through is considered to be rape…

[Embedded Video]

January 22, 2013

New Gaming Video :D

Haven’t done one exclusive to gaming in a while :) Hope you like it:

[Embedded Video]

January 23, 2013

My thoughts on Prank Tour…

I’m finally done with all the tasks I flew out to complete in LA… I’m really glad I came, and made all the new friends I did. YouTubers Sassi Bob & Ariel specifically blew my mind while on tour, I’ve never met anyone like those two. Regardless, let’s start from the beginning.

The main reason I was involved in Prank Tour was because I’m friends with MakeMeBad35 (Damian), who I’ve always thought to be a fantastic entertainer & as I learned on the tour, a pretty awesome guy. The Prank Tour flew so many of us out to, naturally, as a group, prank people at various locations in the LA area.

Sadly, most of the time we spent on the Prank Tour event, consisted of us standing around, waiting for crews to set up. We kept making statements similar to “You know, if it was just YouTubers doing this, we’d already be on our 15th, or even 20th prank” when with the crews, we were only on our 5th or so prank.

IMG_3026aFor those of you who haven’t worked with Hollywood folk, the tendency is to throw countless hours into one project (less potential for success) rather than the same amount of time into many projects (what YouTubers often do). The second strategy simply has a better rate of success for so many of us, and is far less depressing if failure occurs, as we often have backup projects to compensate due to our responsible management of time.

In my experience your best bet is to allow yourself minimal time to execute every activity so you may rapidly move on to the next activity before the sun goes down (when it comes to pranks, this is commonly essential). What Prank Tour calls for is YouTubers getting together and giving it their all, but unfortunately, the YouTubers were not given what they needed to, to do what was asked of them to their fullest potential.

We literally were told repeatedly “Ok, we’ll be ready in 10 minutes” only to stand around for anywhere from 20 to 70 minutes waiting. There were many points where I said “Phuket” and reached out to the other YouTubers to ditch the crew and begin recording on our own, and we did, repeatedly, only to come back when we finished and find the crew was still setting up.

If I am involved in future Prank Tours, I want the professional amateurs (YouTubers) to be in control. I don’t want to be told what to do, I don’t want to wait on the amateur professionals (Hollywood) to set up, I want to get things done, and make our impact profound in the amount of content we produce (quality content no-less, as we have proven it to be in the past many times), and the source of ideas that we execute, original to YouTubers.

I think a lot of us expected to go there, and come up with our own ideas, as most all of us were pranksters ourselves, very capable of coming up with fresh material, a fact we proved while there. However when the Hollywood crew (and I call them this as they had a Hollywood approach to recording, which is incredibly inefficient for what we were working to accomplish) came out, they already had a list of what they wanted us to do, which I found to be… unreasonable.

Think of it this way, one man has been growing/selling potatoes for 5 years, he’s so good at growing/selling potatoes, a company calls him up to join a larger group of potato producers. The larger company doesn’t have 5 years of experience with growing potatoes, no, they in fact have almost no potato production experience. Illogically, once they have every potato producer gathered, they tell all the potato producers “Now I know we are not good at producing potatoes in the way you do, as we have little to no experience doing so, and I know you have a ton of experience, and formidable success growing/selling potatoes, however today, I want all of you to dedicate the majority of your time growing and selling potatoes the way we tell you to, rather than the way you have already, repeatedly, successfully done so on your own.”.

Them telling us what pranks we should pull was frustrating to me, obviously, in fact most every YouTuber who talked about what their favorite moment was during the tour, referenced events that were generated purely by YouTuber ideas, the very same events were recorded by ourselves, when the staff was not around.

Regardless, the YouTubers there made the very best of it, and the Prank Tour staff did in fact come up with one brilliant idea for a prank, one that I believe will be totally worth the purchase of the episode they’ll be releasing, hopefully soon. It was so good in fact it genuinely mortified me as it involved Sassi Bob & Ariel, two people I happily became friends with on the Tour.

Overall, if the Prank Tour team is reading this, my intention is not at all to be destructive, it is entirely the opposite. Through my experience & seeing the frustration in the YouTubers involved, I ask you, please, leave the mass majority of all pranks to the seasoned veterans, vets like PrankkBros, vets like MakeMeBad35 etc. Let them set the agenda, let them set the pace.

IMG_3133aWe know what we’re doing, and you know that’s why you called upon us to help generate content for your tour, so please forget your need to guide us in doing what so many of us have been doing, SUCCESSFULLY for some time now.

Prank Tour wants success, and in that, they should take a step back, and let us achieve that success for them. Literally, the only thing we need from Prank Tour is funding, one cameraman to document behind the scenes events, transportation AND THAT IS LITERALLY IT. Again, all we need from prank tour is funding, one cameraman to document behind the scenes events, transportation AND THAT IS IT.

We don’t need someone to set a schedule, we can do that ourselves. We don’t need someone to figure out where we’re going to eat, we can do that ourselves. We don’t need sound crews or cameras for the pranks themselves, we can do that ourselves. We don’t need these things because YouTubers most often already do it all. So you fund the right YouTubers & get us together in one place & we’ll pull through. That’s just how it is.

With our skills combined, we can produce exactly what they’re looking for. So let us do what we do, and find you have 4 times as much content as you had on this last trip, higher YouTuber moral & overall better results in content.

If I knew exactly what this trip entailed before I came out, I would not have been put off by the events that occurred as I would of known I was just there to nod, smile & do as they said. I also would have took even more advantage of the free time they gave us to record content while they set up. Unfortunately it took me a while to figure out the crew was not time-efficient and that I should begin working seperately, in that, I and the other YouTubers lost so many hours standing around, hoping they would get their act together.

Prank Tour should not be a movie set, it should be a YouTube experience. If you want to treat pranks like you did, and have only people who take orders, and dance on command, hire actors.

And one thing, I really, really did not like, was when I was told by the director to hand out flyers for prank tour, and cheer in front of a banner that said “PrankTour.com” on the “Prank Tour” bus. If I wanted to pass out flyers and direct people to signs, I would work at Pizza Hut. The hilarious aspect of us being directed to do this is that the people we were directed to advertise to, weren’t even YouTube-familiar. Considering it was a major tourist site, many probably didn’t even speak English. Whoever’s idea it was to turn us YouTubers into sign wavers/spammers should be put into question. It’s obvious you want to attract attention online, so I ask you, why would you not just have us promote the tour in creative ways online, rather than advertise to people, who many of which, have no interest in checking out online videos, let alone our tour?

But enough criticism, let’s talk about the amazing YouTubers that took part in this event:

OutBackZack, you and I are incredibly alike in that you are seemingly constantly thinking about ways to improve strategies & find success. You gave so much to this Tour, and I recognize your dedication to the online community in general. We butt heads from time to time, and have a messed up past, but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect your passion, and it doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate your abilities.

PrankkBros, seriously? You guys are brilliant. You should of headed up the tour, I kid you not. If anyone should have told us what to do, you guys are the true pros, I would of followed you in whatever direction with a smile.

MakeMeBad35, I wish we had it better, you above everyone seemed to feel out of your element with the way things were handled, but every time I asked you to help me out, you did. You didn’t let me down once, and were always the guy I went to when I wanted a friend. Thank you.

Sassi Bob & Ariel, you two took me on a roller coaster of emotion, it was scary at times, especially with the prank you pulled on me and the other YouTubers, but you never treated me bad, and you made me feel like I meant something to you. I often picked you two to participate in pranks with me because I loved your attitudes and I believed we could work well as a team, and we did.

JStuStudios, you three took all my initial impressions of you and obliterated them. It takes real men to get in diapers just for the sake of making the lives of most all observers bit better through their laughter. I know I can count on your guys to bring everything to the table, and you are truly an asset to Prank Tour.

Steve Kardynal, you’re insanely hilarious… insanely… hilarious. You, like so many of the YouTubers there, are a true asset.

Alright… I think I got everyone.

To the staff, thank you for being polite to us. Most every one of you was likable and awesome to talk to.

Thank you for reading.

January 24, 2013

Words Cause Suicide?

What do you think about this? Are words to blame?

[Embedded Video]

Have you played FarCry 3?

New UhOhBro :) Lainey made this so fun

[Embedded Video]

January 25, 2013

Yosie yo yo… script now…

Today I’m doing a video on being a chicken… I’m about to go lay in the shower and try not to… I donno… pass out for 20 billion hours… I’m feeling kinda like Emo Charlie right now… you know:

[Broken Image]

But once I’m done, the editing will begin!

Here’s the script:

*drops egg out butt*
*egg cracks on ground*
Chicken: MEH
Chicken: *walks off*

*greg sleeping*
Chicken: *chicken walks in*
Greg: *sleeping*
Greg: *wakes up screaming*

*show chicken ruining yard*

Greg: *using phone*
Chicken: *runs and attacks him with it’s feet*

Chicken: I have to poo.
Chicken: Where’s the bathroom?
Chicken: Oh, just kidding, I don’t care.
Chicken: *puts butt up to the wall*
Chicken: *shows poo shooting out*

Chicken: This is such a great movie.
Chicken: Never. CLUCK CLUCK.
Greg: No one will ever be around you if you don’t shower.
Chicken: Are you kidding? People want to be around me so much, they put me inside them.
Greg: …good point.

*show chicken running*

*show chicken eating chicken*

Greg (on the phone): Stacy have you ever though about…
Chicken: CLUCK
Greg: …have you ever thought about…
Chick: CLICK!!!
Greg: …seriously?
*chicken looks sad*
Greg: Have you ever thought about…

Gregory: Stay in here chicken!
Gregory: STAY!
*closes door*
Chicken: It’s ok, I can open this door.
*chicken falls head first into door*

When it’s done, the video will be on: http://youtube.com/onision

2 Hours Early of My Promise! :)

New Onision video!!! Hope you love this episode of “10 THINGS I HATE” :)

[Embedded Video]

Passed out… hit head…

[Embedded Video]

January 26, 2013


I recorded this with Jess before getting back from LA, also before I got sick… she was, as always, so fun to work with:

[Embedded Video]

Jess’s channel: http://youtube.com/jesslizama


Today’s UhOhBro covered p0rn :) YAAAAYY!!!! (or not)

[Embedded Video]

@ All Remaining Onision Haters

January 26, 2013

Dear gossip whores who are still trashing my personal life, You don’t know jack about it, as if you did, you’d have nothing to say. Next time you think about verbally vomiting on the personal life of “Onision” (which is none of your business, so here’s your cue to get a life) just tell yourself the following:

[Broken Image]

Tumblr Post: http://onision.com/post/41560079788/all-remaining-onision-haters

January 28, 2013

The Internet vs Amanda Todd

How do you feel about all this? I finally covered this issue as it randomly fell in front of me today…

[Embedded Video]

Please send them positive thoughts!!!

Jess and I responded to someone who posted to the Onision forums saying they are suicidal…

[Embedded Video]


SICK JOKES (new Onision video!)

A lot of people have asked for Joke videos over the last few months, so I did another one… well… that and I’m not very mobile right now :P

[Embedded Video]

Everybody Hates You?

New Speaks :) This one’s about people picking on ya :P

[Embedded Video]