This blog is currently still active. I am posting entries here for archival purposes.
- 1 What Is Going On?
- 2 I Used To Design Web Sites
- 3 Onision GIFs
- 4 Onision Fan Photos
- 5 Brooke Houts & Her Dog
- 6 I Dated Belle Delphine
- 7 Which YouTuber Are You?
- 8 Where I Am Now
- 9 About Shane Dawson’s Makeup
- 10 “I Would Never Do Anything To Hurt You” They Said…
- 11 I Got My Tesla To Play Adult Content & Cuphead
- 12 Social Media Is Toxic and It’s Your Fault
- 13 Drama With An Onision Patron
- 14 League of Legends Girls: Useless Trash?
What Is Going On?
Site Updates - August 2019
So you may be wondering what is going on… this whole site is like… here one day, not the next, how the heck can you keep up? Well… I’m just trying to find the best server for this site for the best price, and I think I’ve made a lot of progress.
Anyway, stay tuned & talk to you on the forums at https://www.onision.co/community
I Used To Design Web Sites
About Onision - August 2019
Onision used to design web sites... what even? Much of them are forums.
Way back in the day I designed web sites… I think I was like 15 years old when I started designing them… these are some examples of the designs…
[6 tiny images from his old sites]
They’re small because the original versions were deleted… but if you look up on the WayBackMachine.org you can find a bunch of old web sites I invested in… like Onision.com (old forums) or DeathReaper.com (as seen, the gray site above) or even GoSere which I worked on for the US Air Force…
Anyway, thought you might like to know about that 🙂
[Higher quality screen shot of OnisionForums.biz]
I even ran a site called OnlineForums.biz which featured numerous other projects… I was a busy boy.
GIFs - August 2019
A collection of awesome Onision GIF images... you know that YouTuber dude? It me!
Do you guys like Onision GIF images? Like animated stuff? Well, here is a fun collection of GIFs for you to share and enjoy!
[39 gifs Greg created of himself back in 2014ish]
Onision Fan Photos
Onision Fans - August 2019
Are you an Onision fan? Maybe you'll find yourself on this page somewhere... that would be cool :D
There are quite a few Onision fans out there… these are just a few of the people who submitted photos because they wanted to be publicly recognized as actual fans of Onision at some point… which is awesome, amazing, incredible and also awesome.
Tweet @Onision with fan photos to maybe be added some day!
[52 images of fans posing with signs that say "Onision" or Onision merch]
Brooke Houts & Her Dog
YouTuber News - August 2019
Brooke Houts was pretty mean to her dog... what the heck? Why?
What do you guys think about this lady? Did she actually spit on her dog? Because it completely and utterly looked like she spit on her dog… sounded like it too.
[Embed of UhOhBro video]
The dog clearly just wanted attention.
I Dated Belle Delphine
Too Hot For YouTube - September 2019
So YouTube was not happy with this video, even in it’s censored state.
To see the less censored version, please sign up to http://patreon.com/onision
Anyway, here’s the version intended for YouTube, but now exclusive to this site 😛
[Embed of Vimeo upload of video]
Which YouTuber Are You?
Quizzes - July 2019
Where I Am Now
About Onision - October 2019
Hey… I’m downloading something right now and have nothing better to do than type you this message so I wanted to talk about where I am now…
First off, today I sent out some personal thank you videos to patrons and Cameo folk… I got a nicer phone so I am able to record those videos without makeup… haha.
Apparently a better lens = I like myself more… also got a well lit webcam for the same reason… I just don’t like looking grim, you know?
Anyway here is one of the photos I took on the new camera…
[Selfie of Greg]
I like it because it gets the details without warping my face… it’s all about lenses really.
But yeah, I am work on a deeper video right now that I hope you will love. I listened to my patrons and they want longer/deeper content, that is what I want to give to you 😊
So… this video is taking a couple days to record/edit, but should be great. For my patrons, see you tonight on the movie night Skype thing 😋
Which by the way, I thought more YouTubers did stuff like this with patrons… apparently not. Not sure why, you guys are some of my closest friends (some of you) ~
About Shane Dawson’s Makeup
YouTuber News - November 1, 2019
Today I saw something on Twitter that kinda upset me, and I was upset in a way I am not used to. I would post a screenshot of what I saw, but I don’t want to out anyone or make anyone feel bad because I personally don’t have any beef with really, anyone at this point.
What I mean when I say “Beef” is I simply don’t have any incentive or motivation to go after anyone as if I am better than them. As I grow, I learn more about how human we all are, how things you could never comprehend before, you begin to understand as you slowly realize how monumentally messed up so many of us are.
A good example of this is someone saying they would never go to a place to “take care” of a baby, they vote conservatively their whole life, till one day they get pregnant and their word is suddenly upside down before they even give birth. So they find themselves looking to “take care” of their own pregnancy so they can live a life where they are not pushing some child into a life that lacks love or is otherwise not healthy. In other words, you start out judging women for claiming rights to their own bodies, then you find yourself in their shoes and you’re doing the same thing.
So… we all are capable of over time, kind of understanding where people we disagree with are coming from when given enough life experience.
[Screen shot of Shane's Famous Birthdays page]
Some time ago something kinda funny happened (“funny” as in awkward and humbling), I went after Shane for making jokes that sounded serious to me, and numerous other people (it was trending on Twitter that he was canceled, we’re talking tens of thousands of people tweeting the same thing) – I joined the bandwagon and later on became somewhat of the poster boy for the whole movement, people even suggested I invented it when in fact it was originally blamed on the Paul brothers. Point is, I didn’t jump off the bandwagon till eventually I was one of the only people left… because I couldn’t possibly imagine how anyone could say what Shane had said… till someone showed me an old tweet of mine, where I made a joke about Skyping someone while using the toilet… yeah… suddenly I was like “Oh well that’s different! Obviously I was being sarcastic, that scenario is ridiculous!” – well, maybe Shane saw his statements the same way, or, maybe Shane is literally the next coming of the dark lord Lucifer? Joking… or am I?
So to discuss what I saw on Twitter… Jeffree Star and Shane Dawson came out with a new makeup set… me personally? I don’t really get makeup… I don’t care, it’s… you know just foundation for me and that’s all… ok, maybe I darken my brows a bit too… anyway, the point is, I couldn’t possibly understand why people are so obsessed with these silly little colorful plastic and powder products… but, I’m also completely ignorant, so unlike so many times before, I’ve kept my mouth shut, I’ve tried to be an adult for once and watch the world turn without my interruption. But… well… about what I saw…
[Picture of Shane and his fiance Ryland]
Shane and his other half :)
So someone I consider an online friend Tweeted something about how “good” Shane’s new makeup set looked… and they posted two pictures of Shane pretending to be a member of a different skin color. I’ll paraphrase, someone took old non-PC pics of Shane and said that was his current makeup set in action… Personally I know this person is not pro-Shane, they have been going off on Shane for over a year… they have something up their rear over the guy, and I get that, in a number of ways, not just about Shane, but people in general. It sucks to see people who you maybe attempted to be like at one point succeed beyond imagination, let’s be honest, Shane is a mega hit, like, incredibly successful… but my reaction to this… when I saw these photos of Shane I was already aware of, playing characters intended to make people laugh and nothing else, my thought was “Yeah, we all know that happened, but that was like years ago” and my emotions were like “Holy heck, low blow dude.”
Let me talk about my personal experience with Shane… I went to lunch/dinner with him a few times… one time we tried this Italian restaurant, then bailed because the Menu was, no good. We went to a Mexican place instead. Another time I went to his favorite restaurant with him, and he publicly stated he did not like how I did not look at the waiters in the face when I talked to them… he only publicly said this (as I recall) because I had publicly stated that he stood me up multiple times. In other words, I was being childish and handling my problems like an attention-seeker rather than an adult. But! That is not what this story is about. I additionally spent a short time at Shane’s house, making a video with BlackBoxTV and another time making a song with Shane himself. Now with that being said, Shane, at no point, showed any interest in any of the things his jokes covered. Not the face makeup, not the… other jokes, literally no indication of anything bad in his personality regarding these specific subjects… so? This whole time I’ve been going off not having seen the guy in forever & solely on the fact that I don’t understand what his jokes sound like/how he jokes & I hadn’t reflected on the reality that he never showed any real world signs to me that anything was bad about his personality, at all, other than simply not showing up when he said he would – which is a totally separate, irrelevant private issue.
See the thing is, Shane already said sorry for those things, he, like everyone else, has a right to apologize for things and move on. He messed up by making jokes that were ok then, but not now, and those photos may be relevant if he ever ran for president… but on social media, when you go after people who are much more successful than you, or who have some other quality you think you do not have… well, it comes off as jealousy, and holding onto those feelings doesn’t really make your life any better.
Shane will continue to be a huge success despite all his controversy because let’s be honest, there is no concrete evidence that he is this monster some people believe he is. If you caught someone in a private situation doing these things, maybe then you could say something was real here… but in most every controversy, you find Shane doing or saying something publicly, in an environment where he is expected to say bold things, and take part in “hilarious” behavior… so you often wind up just being that heckler that no one likes, yelling at the person on stage who is playing a character for the sake of other people’s lives being better.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes with pointing fingers and acting holier-than-thou… but I regret those things, I am sorry for those things, and I also don’t want to be reminded of things I apologized for many years down the line. I would like to move past so many things I have said sorry for… and reality check, to the person who brought up Shane’s past makeup decisions & jokes… as far as bringing it up again and again?
You feel exactly the same way about your own past.
“I Would Never Do Anything To Hurt You” They Said…
About Onision - November 2, 2019
So, after a very long time of silence with names, I’m going to say one: Sarah.
I’ve decided to speak up on this issue because I recently mailed former patrons a gift certificate to this site (Onision.co) as a thank you for pledging to my Patreon at some point in the past. A few people responded with some not so pleasant messages, one was “You and Kai are monsters” and the other two followed suit.
It is pretty clear that people will form opinions of others in a conclusive manner without hearing both sides, and that’s not exactly something you would want if you were in my position. It’s easy when you point the finger, it’s no so easy when it’s your life being put on the chopping block. Call it karma for all the times I judged others. In fact, I called numerous people over the years what people are calling me now… a saving grace is that when I referenced the same descriptive words, I used actual definitions, and not just emotions. This is important when you discuss facts and implications.
Myself and Kai have been relatively distant from the topic in a direct fashion because we’re talking about someone who was our friend for years, a person we trusted, a person who had repeatedly indicated things for years that are the opposite of what they are saying now. But… this is not about making anyone look bad. When you care about people, you don’t go on a public rampage trying to ruin their life. I learned about caring about people the most when I failed to show compassion for many years in how I handled friendships I ended, a video I made about being too honest regarding an ex is in this post, and shows how I used to handle things poorly.
The way I used to function is if someone said something bad about me, I would retaliate and point out all the reasons I kicked them out of my life. This time? Let me just say, I have no idea who Sarah is. I literally don’t. You think you know people, you think you understand them, then something like this happens and you just don’t recognize them anymore, and you wonder who they ever were. If they ever said anything to you that was real.
I’m sure some of you can relate with this… let’s say someone says every day that they’re glad you’re in their life, they act like you’re super important to them, that they would never hurt you… then the next day, they’re planting explosives under your car and tweeting about how the idea of your house burning to the ground is hilarious… you’re sitting over here going “Wait… what happened to that person who said they cared? Who said they would never hurt me?” – To be clear, I’m not saying Sarah said any of those things, I’m not saying Sarah did anything, I’m just using an analogy to help you understand the position I have found myself in before.
Kai & I outright do not trust anyone anymore. Not a single person. The reason we don’t trust anyone is simply because one day, someone is your best friend, someone says everything they possibly can to assure you that you are a good person, that they support you, that they would never try to hurt you, and then the next day, it’s a full publicity tour, going to every possible person they think could hurt you, and saying the absolute worst things.
Let me show you a video that Sarah sent when she was literally told to be honest about who Kai was… something Sarah, I was told, revealed to the public I in fact asked her to do: be honest. This is Sarah, and adult, speaking of Kai around 9 months ago, again, an adult thousands of miles away from us, giving her opinion of Kai after she was asked to just tell the truth about him:
[Embed of the Speaks video "Sarah Defends Kai & States "CoolGuyKai"Is Innocent"]
This is an example of the person we thought we knew… a grown up, who was our friend, a best friend even, showing support for Kai. She knew when she made this video nothing had happened between any of us beyond a mere friendship, and we trusted her – we thought we knew her. We thought she would never do anything to hurt us, that she didn’t see us as people to go out and use for her own benefit, for whatever she is getting out of what she is doing now… we just, have no idea how to trust anyone anymore due to the fact that we knew this person for years, and you hear it, a lot.
“Sometimes you do not know who you can trust. I still learn that over and over again.” – Demi Lovato
There are things I could share with all of you about Sarah, every story she told us, every thing she admitted to, everything she wrote us & did around us… so many things happened throughout the years, things that we don’t even have to legally withhold from you, yet Kai remains absolutely silent because he is deeply hurt to this day. He hates the fact I even wrote this statement here as he wants nothing to do with internet subjects like this. He does not even know to process what happened with the person that I, not Kai, but I kicked out of our life.
Fact is, there is a common problem with every friendship/relationship that I’ve ended… and it’s me ending it abruptly, resulting in the same social media outrage. Every single time. When I want someone out of my life, I will tell them outright, you need to go. I’ve gotten early flights for people to leave, especially in cases where it is discovered someone is lying, cheating or otherwise admits to committing a horrible crime. Again, not saying Sarah did any of these things. If she had done something and I went on a tour of numerous channels to hurt her, I feel like that says a lot about my ability to care for people, and what my intentions are. Now if I knew someone who wronged me in a legal sense, I would simply take them to court and have that be the end of it. Social media exists to give ourselves attention, and I feel it is silly to deny that is why we are all there. Like saying you speak to not be heard.
As some of you may know, Sarah allegedly (and I say allegedly because I never saw it myself) went on to talk with multiple streamers on YouTube. Very, very well-known names. I get most all my information through the Onision Patreon Discord, where my patrons tell me what people are saying about me and I often either laugh or say “Wow, that’s messed up” – Well, this time around it was bit more of the “messed up” reaction as apparently what Sarah has publicly said about us is that (1) I was mean to her when she was not yet an adult. My response to that is yes, I was absolutely mean to her verbally, I called her mean names, like a grade-school bully basically, and that is because I didn’t want her to like me, at all. I wanted her to dislike me, that way our existence around each other would never be uncomfortable for me, and she would know I wanted nothing to do with her. I wanted her to stay away from me, and she did. So it worked out. I did however apologize down the line, sometimes the name calling was a bit much, like using the “C” word, even in a joking tone.
(2) I was told she implied that me being mean to her was grooming. This is confusing to me because what would people say if I was nice instead? Grooming is the act of treating someone well. I mean this in the manner where someone cuts a dogs hair, brushes them softly etc. It’s not bring the animal in and telling the animal their stupid. So with this internet logic that I struggle to understand, it seems like there is no winning in that scenario. If no matter what you do = grooming, than the concept of grooming loses meaning. I am at least happy it is now public knowledge that I was mean to Sarah the entire period she was not an adult. Because in a rational world, no one sees someone being mean as someone trying to be inappropriate with them, and that’s great as I had no interest in what people imply, my actions clearly reflect that, just as she admitted herself was the negative/rejection-based behavior I showed her. We were told other things that Sarah said, which I happily deny because these statements are not accurate. To be clear, this is a rejection of the idea, and a denial of the implication, that we are guilty of something horrible, as we are not. And if you pay attention with an honest mind, you can begin to understand the motives and background that lead to this.
In order to accurately understand a situation, you have to get all the perspectives involved. People can mistake how things occur all the time. For instance, in this video you have a girl who at the time said one thing, but long after we cut ties, completely changed her story when it suited her:
[Embed of Speaks video "Onision Maya? (Onision Rumors Disproven With Receipts)"]
As you can see above, there was a person who said one thing happened with Kai & I, and in fact, it was the complete opposite. That’s not the only example I have. This is a person who was around us constantly when Sarah was around for a very long time, openly defending Kai & I when we were still willing to have this person in our life:
Yet… now their story changed as well. This is a result of possibly tribalism, where because the people they are friends with believe something, they do too, it works both ways actually. So you have to ask yourself, which time was she telling the truth? Which version of her lines up with the more honest motive most? The person who was kicked out of our life, or the person who was not yet kicked out of our life?
In one area you have a person who is on good terms with you, so they say nice things about you, then you say, “I don’t want to ever see you again” and suddenly you’re the worst person they ever met. This happens to pretty much every person I’ve ever decided I did not want to be associated with anymore.
This is an entire video of me dealing with what someone was saying not long after I broke up with them, again, it is an example of how I used to deal with people after I kicked them out of my life… I never want to make a video like this again:
[Embed of Encore video "Onision Is TOO Bluntly Honest About Previous Girlfriend"]
And this is another example of a girl who many years ago said I was a great person, even right after I dumped them, but as time passed, despite us having barely any communication with each other, she completely changed her story about me, and not in the “hearsay” verbal communication way… no… she on her own accounts made directly contradictory statements about firstly me being an awesome person, then turned and said I was actually an awful person, despite not having significant contact with me between those two points:
[Embed of Speaks video "it's over"]
So what I have clearly, and repeatedly demonstrated is that people, even Sarah, have undeniably changed their stories about us, and the main event that changed their story was one thing: Our termination of the friendship.
Rejection is a powerful thing, it takes over your mind, and if you are not equipped to handle rejection, it can lead to compensating, lashing out… and forgetting all the times you said you would never become what you are now. Fact is, everyone in our life thinks the people who run online campaigns against us are awful… until we kick them out of our lives… then, they are with them, claiming their 15 minutes as all the people in our life still, shake their heads and say “I would never do that to you” ¬
What is important to note is that Sarah has accused us of being physically intimate with her while she was an adult. She rejected the idea anything happened before that, which is of course refreshingly true in that we obviously wouldn’t do that. She did however claim acts happened in adulthood that were put rather crudely, I believe one seemed almost like she was bragging as she tweeted something along the lines of “I F***** ONISION!!!” – You’ll have to look that up yourself to confirm the exact word use as me personally, I can’t bear to look at her Twitter at this point, and have not been able to for some time… because it’s like I said, this person was a best friend… and now it’s like they want us dead. You try to remember people for the good times, and when all you see is this enraged person who wishes the worst things happen to you… it’s like a huge piece of your life dies.
To get to the implication that Sarah made, she clearly and repeatedly has said she was an adult when this alleged thing occurred. She also accused Kai of numerous things which are Kai’s business, not mine. Sarah and Sarah’s friend implied their was legal action being taken, they did so long ago, yet Kai remains completely innocent & free. People who know Kai, know he would never want anything like what is implied happened, to happen. Kai is a wonderful person, and as said before, wasn’t the one to cut ties… but I think because the other party knows they can’t hurt me, they try to hurt those I love… and that’s… heartbreaking.
It’s important I inform all of you that we have already spoken to, and been cleared by professionals on associated matters, and because professionals have already looked into it (just like Animal Control clearing me all those years ago, the police taking my ex girlfriend away when I called the cops on her and clearing my behavior as well… while other legitimate officials investigating my life as a result of the internet and clearing us as well) and concluded we were fine, I would hope every rational person could line up all these facts and come to a reasonable conclusion. We are consistently deemed innocent of what people say about us, yet to many, real-world investigations/facts don’t matter.
Now that you know we have been looked into repeatedly, not just this year but over many years and that you know, with proof, the stories of these people have changed, from their own mouths, from their own social media… I would hope you would allow yourself to have a less extreme opinion, especially of Kai, who is the best person I know (hence why I am still married to him after seven years).
Ultimately, you will all believe what you want to, but I think that as a person who has witnessed other people go through numerous online issues with people, it’s nice to give them an official statement that concludes everything but doesn’t really reveal stuff that could really hurt people you once called friend.
As far as Sarah goes, it’s really sad to see all this, it’s especially sad to see someone you knew for years wish you ill, but… this is the nature of the world, and this is how sometimes things wind up.
This is not an exclusive story… people know each other for years and wind up being at odds all the time, but… for once, I’d like to not reveal private information of myself or others, I’d like to not discuss things that mattered to me that only hurt to think about now… I’d like to move on.
Here is a video I made reflecting these more recent feelings:
[Embed of Speaks video "i can't do this anymore"]
So… long story short, I wish Sarah well. I hope she has a wonderful life and the same goes for most everyone else on Earth.
I could do what Sarah did, I could go on a huge rant, go on different channels to talk entirely about her and… dramatic topics in general… but… I just don’t have my heart in it.
I’m tired of kicking people out of my life, I’m tired of seeing them hurt because of it… so I’ve decided to just not befriend anyone anymore… I think if I focus on making videos/entertaining my patrons – that’s good enough for me.
To all of you reading, thank you. I’m glad this page is now here for anyone to see who decided to draw conclusions about me or the wonderful Kai, without even knowing what happened.
Me personally? I’m glad we have countless real world witnesses, my family, my friends, extended family, extended friends… I’m glad we have footage, I’m glad we have the massive archives on text, and I’m glad I’m a big enough person to keep that confidential for all that for the people involved, rather than selling my soul & making this just another empty reality show.
All is well that ends well right? Well… I’ve found my happiness… Kai has been happier than I’ve seen him in years so… I’d say that’s great.
Take care of yourselves and each other.
I Got My Tesla To Play Adult Content & Cuphead
About Onision - November 3, 2019
So some people may wonder… does the Tesla play adult content? Does the Tesla play Cuphead? And if so, how does the Tesla play Cuphead or adult content?
Well… here’s how you do the Cuphead thing first of all: 1. Grab a USB controller (an XBOX controller should work just fine!) 2. Plug the USB controller into the USB ports right under your screen in the Tesla’s center console (either one is fine… and yeah this is for the Model 3). 3. Press the “T” logo at the top center of the screen and wait for a moment. 4. Once the new screen pops up, click on the Arcade icon. 5. Tap on Cuphead and wait for the game to load!
Some important things to note, (1) You gotta update your system software to the latest version (2) It helps if you connect your car to WiFi to accomplish this.
Now! With that being said, how did Cuphead perform? Really well actually. You’ll see in the video below. Additionally there is a two player compatabiliy in the Tesla Model 3, so that means you can literally just hang out if you’re ever stuck somewhere, and play video games.
Is it the FULL game? Actually I donno… at one point I saw an ad in the game for the “full version” on Steam etc. so, probably not. But it felt like the full version.
Where can you get the controllers? GREAT QUESTION! If you want the XBOX controller I used, get it here: [Link to xbox controller on Amazon]
And if you want the other controller I used, a bit cheaper, here you go: [Link to xbox controller on Amazon]
So! Out of the two controllers I’d say the XBOX one is slightly better, but they both work great… and the second controller works on the Nintendo Switch as well… oh my!
So, now for the adult stuff… in order to find adult content on your Tesla, all you really have to do is sign into YouTube or Netflix and seek it out – Fairly simple really. Will this change the world? I mean… gosh… sounds like trouble if anything… no one should probably be watching that without tented windows at the very least.
Regardless, here is the lovely video, presented on this site before even YOUTUBE gets to see it released… if you want to see the uncut version, that’s for Patreon: http://patreon.com/onision
[Embed of Speaks video "Playing The Game Cuphead In A Tesla Car"]
Social Media Is Toxic and It’s Your Fault
About Onision - November 4, 2019
So there was an image some time ago that revealed exactly how messed up social media is, and one of the biggest problems is that most all of us are part of the problem. The image I saw was on Instagram, it was of models who had phone cases that said something like “Social Media Causes Mental Illness”
[Data visual of British social media users 14-24 years old well being impact from 2017]
In this article I want to hopefully inspire people and educate them with tools that can truly change their life for the better, and maybe save them from, essentially, themselves. But this isn’t your typical article from your average person, in fact, I’m pretty much better than everyone… ha ha. No, no I’m certainly not… but I am quite confident in my experiences over the years, so let me tell you about that real quick.
Fun fact, most all the plaques below have been destroyed or sold as a result of me losing faith in the YouTube system as a whole. But maybe the system isn’t faulty, maybe, I am truly to blame for it all, maybe, I did it all to myself. I hope I did, as it being my fault means I actually still have power to change my circumstance.
[Image of Greg with all his Youtube plaques]
So… I am the YouTuber, Patreon-guy, Twitterer etc. who obsesses over social media and has been for some time. I started a YouTube channel in 2006, my Twitter in 2009 and my content has literally been seen by over a billion people, and that is no exaggeration. Before “adpocalypse” on YouTube (what was that… late 2016?) and before I deleted half my videos, UhOhBro had been watched by a quarter to a half a billion people, and my other channels were right there with it. I was, emphasize on the “was”, very popular.
[Screen shot of UhOhBro channel]
Since 2016 UhOhBro has lost approximately 400,000 subscribers, however the views have increased 30% as far as total views accumulated… based on a mere screen shot I saw from 2016. However, this is still a grand failure, clearly I need to have some self-reflecting to do.
Now, with a lot of social media interactions, comes a lot of both positive and negative encounters, the problem with human beings is we typically tend to focus on the negative… which is really truly unfortunate. My theory? I think we focus on the negative because what nature intended was for us to overcome it, to learn from it, so that negative aspect of our life can be eliminated, yet somehow many of us simply have not caught on, so instead of solving the negative issue/problem that we are addressing, we instead internalize it, almost subconsciously validate it, and as a result, deeply hurt ourselves, quite literally voluntarily so.
The concept of bullying involves one person picking on another person, let’s get the exact definition:
[Screen shot of google's definition of "bully"]
A lot of people seem to think the solution to bullying, is to stop the bullying… just poof, magically bullying just stops… and it’s a wonderful thought. Wouldn’t it be great if people just stopped insulting each other? Started being nice to each other? No longer pointed fingers and judged each other as if we’re not all human? Well… this is not possible with humans, bullying will always exist, there is no way around this fact.
An example I like to use a lot is let’s say there’s a girl… and she reads every single thing that is negatively said about her online… now let’s say there is a boy, and he reads nothing that is negatively said about him online. Think about the path they both willingly chose… which of the two do you think will feel more bullied? Which of the two do you think will suffer more?
[Image of a black and white goth/emo girl crying next to an image of a child playing basketball]
Let’s go a little further, let’s say the girl starts to harm herself, and that the boy goes outside his little self-obsessed world and begins to get into basketball. Over time the girl keeps reading what people say about her online, and the marks on hear body spread, one slice into her skin after another. Now the boy continues to focus on playing basketball, practices every single day, and eventually, finds himself getting a scholarship into the college of his choice, all-paid.
Let’s jump forward to 10 years past the college age, the boy is now a pro athlete, making millions doing what he loves. Never paid attention to all the people who said he was one thing or another on social media, just stayed focused on his own life… now the girl?
Let’s mentally dive into what her life looks like now… imagine an old window, a dark hallway, on the floor of the drafty moist and mold-covered room is a cell phone with a cracked screen that illuminates a tweet saying “You’re ugly, why do you even bother existing, everyone who sees you is worse off because of you.” Now pan up to dangling legs, pan up higher to a flowing dress in the narrow passageway, pan all the way up to see a rope tightly bound around the girl’s neck, her eyes glazed over…
Unfortunately, this is not a made-up story. This is something that happens to people all over the United States and other places of the world. What so many people fail to realize is that words don’t matter when they come from total strangers. Their opinion of you has as great of an impact on you as you let it.
We point at others, we blame the bullies saying they are why we hurt, when in reality we hurt because we walk into the furnace of our own free will all while screaming about how the fire is the bad guy, and we’re just delicate harmless flowers that never wanted to harm anyone… but there is a problem in that logic… you are harming someone, the most important person in your life, yourself. You are the only one who has been with you from the moment you are born to the day you die (in most all cases). You are your greatest asset, and you betray yourself like this? By subjecting yourself to hate?
When you read what people say about you on social media, the bad things, you are your own enemy. You cannot blame them as they are doing what comes naturally to people like them. Like a black panther snatching a baby pig up and running away as the mother pig screams in agony. These animals online, they do what they do because it is in their nature, and we are probably all capable of being just like them with the right influence and internalized justification. We all need to stop pretending that we have never made fun of anyone, that we have never said anything mean and we need to stop playing victim when we are the captains of our own ship, responsible for the impact of the waters we chose to sail into.
Let me tell you what I have done, after many many years of wasting my time focusing on people I don’t even want in my life and I in fact want to be nothing like…
First of all, you need to disable people’s ability to direct message you if you do not follow them. Any random person could say the worst thing to you and ruin your whole day. Be your own ally, protect yourself. Secondly, Twitter in particular as a “Quality” filter, I have mine naturally enabled as well as these other features:
[Screen shots showing different twitter settings]
When you click on the gear icon of your notifications, it will take you to a page where you can set advanced filters…
If you have all these features enabled on a site like Twitter, you no longer have to worry about anyone bothering you in your feed. But you should know, there is still a risk of seeing negative messages if you click on a specific post of yours, as this system does not filter out the replies under each individual post, only in your feed.
So naturally, a much more effective option would be to quit social media altogether… but that is simply not practical for people who want to be a part of the online world, so, you are left with an option like this.
But what can you do now that no one can tweet at you who you don’t follow?
Twitter is not all about you, I know, this sounds crazy, but we follow other people to see what is up in their life, not always what is going on with ourselves. I lost a huge chunk of my fan-base just obsessing over my own life, not thinking about the world around me, and when you start to look around you instead of only inward, you may find there are a lot of interesting people, a lot of cool things being done, and a lot of amazing things to engage in.
You are now able to focus on what people are saying about the world around you, rather than what people are saying about you. You can now focus on the Tweets of others in your feed that have nothing to do with you, you are free from the prison that is your self-obsessed world.
Someone called you ugly? Someone calls everyone ugly at some point. Stop pretending the world is centered on you, or even worse, the world is centered on the person who decided to say something mean that they themselves would never want said to them.
When the only thing you see is how people think you look, how your actions are perceived by people not in your life, what may or may not have happened in your past, how successful you are and other elements of your perceived life, you are locked away, unable to go anywhere in the jail cell that is your ego.
When you look outward, stop focusing on people focusing only on you, you find you can go anywhere, the limits are lifted and you can finally be someone adventurous, excited and far more capable.
What unpleasant opinions people have about you is none of your business, because what they say about you does not benefit your business. Your entire life is an investment, your time is precious, so invest wisely, and stop voluntarily hurting yourself.
I have seen so many people say if you do something like this you are willfully living in an echo chamber, they claim that unlike you, they can handle criticism and that they just laugh it off/are better for how they deal with it – yet those same people wind up losing their minds when the real heat is turned on them, I’ve seen it happen countless times, the big bad bullies immune to insults crumbling and begging for mercy and why?
Because we are all human beings, we think things are so simple when looking at the lives of others, then we live it ourselves and we don’t like being on the other side, facing the same faulty logic/over simplified rhetoric we once ignorantly cast on others.
If you feel like normal human beings do, harsh criticism is not something you enjoy forever, it is something that eventually gets to you, and holds you back from being the greatest version of yourself.
No more blaming others for your pain. It’s time to stop putting your hand over the flames. You did this, and you can fix this. Grow up, and smile, because you finally have control over your life.
[Embed of Speaks video "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL"]
Drama With An Onision Patron
About Onision - November 5, 2019
So in my recent UhOhBro video I… uh… kinda name dropped someone, and I did this because I am two different people… there is the on camera entertainer me, and the off camera regular guy.
The regular guy me? Yeah, I don’t really want any drama, I just want life to be chill. But… the on camera guy? I don’t care at all, not about really anything. The reason is because I would not watch off-camera me, that’s boring, that’s not fun. On-camera me is exciting and interesting, like most anyone in my position would be.
So, in the video I dropped the name “Dev” because I was searching for “Retro Chick” and boom, non-stop pictures of a chick who looks just like Dev showed up… so? Well, I got triggered… and now I gotta talk about it. Let’s call you guys, my digital therapist.
Let me go through the sequence of events. This is all regarding the last patron meet up months ago, and… is simply meant to tell the full story without getting too emotionally invested or anything…
- A lady who contributed over $2,000 to my Patreon (wow) wanted us to have a Patreon meetup in her city. (Again, thank you for giving so much, that is still appreciated despite how things left off)
- She did this because she wanted another Patron, from Germany, to not have to travel as much as he had other things he wanted to do in the US associated with her location.
- Because those two individuals (Dev formerly lived in Germany, the other actively lives in Germany) had come to state last Patreon meetup, I decided to go with it. It just seemed nice of me to fly across the country for her and the other patron as they did it for me last time.
- The last event we all just hung out and made videos. This time, because Dev was now in control of the situation, she made the whole schedule. She did not check to see if everyone was on board.
- Dev making the whole schedule meant there was no time for videos. It also meant there was little time to just hang out. Instead, we were stuck in traffic the majority of the trip.
- She planned to go to a theme park, even bought a parking pass, but we voted against it, wasting her money there (which she only revealed hours after we had already driven far from the park). Much of the trip she acted like we were using her, like we were a financial burden for the gas she was losing… problem is, we all spent over $500 just to get there, and she spent not even a fourth of that the whole trip as I was covering most meals.
- Dev began to get agitated when she found out almost none of us wanted to go along with her schedule. She wanted to spend time at the theme park & down town, myself and two other patrons just wanted to make videos and hang out.
- The more Dev realized the majority of us did not like the schedule she set out, the more upset she became.
- Dev parked her car at a location she was familiar with around Boston. She then directed us to a half-mile walk. The destination was a second hand store. The items there were the same price as new items would be and I made fun of that fact. Dev did not like this.
- I had remembered to get water from a near by gas station earlier, but two patrons did not. They requested we stop by the gas station again, which was maybe 200 ft from Dev’s car, to get water. Dev refused to join us and sat in her car while we got water.
- When we got in the car, now with water bottles in hand, Dev began cussing and yelling at all three of us. She was red in the face, her eyes were bulging, she was livid and we all just sat there, absorbing her rage.
- After I asked her to stop yelling and cussing at us, she began to drive aggressively. She burned out the clutch in her car as a result.
- In fact earlier she had gotten a ticket from a police officer when she picked up the patron from Germany as she lost her cool and yelled at the police officer as well. He was talking to her because she was not legally situated with her car (based on the officer’s perspective).
- Later that night she had a beer, got very red in the face again (alcohol did it this time, not rage), and pretended none of this happened.
- In fact she was at one point playing the ukulele and singing cheerfully, like everything was fine. She was playing so loud, completely to herself, you could hear her from the basement in the background as we finally recorded a video… without her.
- Dev drove us to the airport, everyone decided to be dropped off together because none of us wanted to be around Dev. We were all scared of her. When I say scared, I mean, we were terrified of her snapping again.
- To assist this point, one person had a flight that didn’t leave for 11 hours. The other’s flight did not leave for, as I recall, about 8 hours. Both of the two patrons leaving that day would rather be stuck at the airport than risk upsetting Dev with what Dev expressed as a clear inconvenience to her… despite her inviting us all there.
- Later on Dev text us, again, like there was no big deal. Like everything would be ok. I confronted Dev and said I was not ok, and that what she did to the three of us was upsetting.
- Dev decided to now speak of a “clean break” immediately deciding that she no longer wanted anything to do with me. Her decision again, came instantly after I said what she did was not ok.
- She then tried to ally up with the other people that were there, but they were not having it. Everyone refused to take a position against me, and instead either remained neutral (in the German’s case) or increasingly uncomfortable with Dev (in the case of everyone who was yelled/cussed at by Dev).
- As a result of all this, Dev felt it best to go on social media and rant about us.
- Dev accused a patron of sleeping with me right before the flight home, during a 40 minute period in which I was actually napping at about 3am. So to reiterate, it was about 3am, I was very tired and wanted to nap before my flight, so I went off alone into the guest room and closed the door.
- Her evidence for this was that this patron was not seen for that period by one other person. But awkwardly, she did not ask the other patron who was there, who was in fact actively hanging out with the patron she accused of sleeping with me. Again, to rephrase, the only time Dev accused someone of something, they had an alibi, that person being the other person Dev had earlier yelled at.
- In other words, she accused me of betraying my husband, and risking ruining my whole life, for a 40 minute 3am fling with someone moments before a flight. And again, she forgot to actually ask the person who she was actively hanging out with during that time, if she was in fact missing. She was not missing.
So, since the above happened, that person, Dev, has continued to wage war against us, all three of us. In total there were 3 women and one other man around us during pretty much all events. There was another man, her significant other, but he was gone much of the time.
The position of every patron at this point:
1. The patron accused of sleeping around, very upset with Dev to this day. Probably the most scarred from being yelled at/cussed at.
2. The female patron Dev also yelled/cussed at, has tried to stay out of things all together, yet remains supportive of the patron accused of sleeping around, because she was literally there with her at the time. Also not feeling so good with Dev’s public angry ranting… none of us feel good about that.
3. The male patron, has pledged nearly the same amount as Dev, he has been incredibly generous/understanding & kind to me. I have never had a problem with him. In fact, I consider him a friend, as I do the other two patrons. As I last checked, they remain patrons to this day. I’m lucky.
But this would not be a balanced article if I did not list off all the things I know Dev is now mad at me for:
1. I spit a drink on her door as a joke, then cleaned it off with Windex without anyone asking me to.
2. Sitting on the bed in the guest room I wanted to do my scheduled Discord with patrons. I asked for everyone to be quiet or only have conversations on Discord if they were going to be in the room. I asked this repeatedly. As they continued to have conversations completely unrelated to Discord, I finally said “guys seriously shut the f*** up” in a normal voice. I could not hear my Discord chat (it was literally ruining my call with patrons).
The people who I said that two were (1) Dev’s significant other who was drinking and was primarily the one speaking loudly. (2) A patron, who was being spoken to by Dev’s significant other.
After that happened, I was told by one of the patrons he went up stars and was angrily ranting about how I asked them to “shut the f*** up” in his own house. To be fair, even though he was drinking, he wasn’t totally wrong. It is very very rude of someone to be invited to stay at someone’s house, and react how I did to the Discord call being repeatedly made impossible by conversations taking place in the room I was staying. (eventually, because they would not let me speak on Discord without outside conversations happening, I just locked myself in the bathroom and continued talking to patrons on Discord… I was told they would stop talking in the background finally but I didn’t believe them, and tried to salvage my Discord instead of taking their word for it)
3. Uh… I think that’s it. Nope… wait, I also bought them all ice cream, and when it seemed like they were done, I pushed their remaining ice cream off the table outside onto the gravel and laughed… I guess not everyone got the joke 😛
So, I personally am sorry that I came off as rude when I was trying to get silence on my Discord call so I could hear what people were saying.
I’m sorry if they were actually going to eat the rest of the ice cream I bought them, I really did think they were done.
I’m not really sorry about the door because it was cleaner than when I found it, when I left (unless Windex doesn’t work, which we all know it does).
And… I guess the thing I am the most sorry for is that it was such a bad time for the other patrons after we all got cussed at/yelled at in Dev’s car. Like I feel like we all died a little when that happened.
Now how I feel about Dev today…
I blocked her from Patreon, so as I understand her last pledge was refunded. We had made many Skype calls to each other over the last couple years and we mostly just played internet games together… that was always pretty fun.
Dev also liked to do Tarrot readings and is a big believer in the mystical stuff, which is… familiar as my mom is the same way. BTW Dev is also in her 30’s if you were wondering.
It was really sad this happened with Dev because I considered her a friend. We always had a good time together, so when she snapped it was a shock. While I would never be friends with Dev again or accept her pledge, I don’t have angry feelings for her or anything. I just don’t want to risk another episode.
Also, I appreciate her significant other buying me a couple bottles of Kombucha, that was really nice of him.
In general I just want Dev to try to be healthy, think about how to not let things bottle up. We all gotta express our feelings, communication was the clear absence here.</b>
When Dev made the schedule without having a real conversation with us over it, that was a communication problem.
When Dev didn’t tell us she was upset till she found herself exploding on us in the car, that was another communication issue.
When Dev tried to ignore the problem as if it did not exist after she exploded on us, that was another communication problem.
And lastly, at one point Dev said I had a beer belly, only to later say I didn’t have a beer belly… that was a communication problem… it was also a bit upsetting because you know, you don’t really just say to your friends that you think they are fat. They’re your friends.
But yeah, overall, I just wanted to explain all this as it came up in a video. So if you ever hear me expressing PTSD or bitterness about what happened, it’s still in my mind. But for Dev herself, I wish her well. It’s just a bummer this had to happen. Better after 2 years than 4 or 10 years I guess.
It’s really important to know who you are actually friends with – not the mask the try to convince you is them…
Like for instance Dev telling the others that she hadn’t been watching my videos anymore, but never telling me that. I understand not watching my videos at the time, because I was a bummer… just wished people would be honest with me about it, and not lead me on, to think they actually liked me.
So! Future Patreon events?
1. Never being hosted anywhere but in my home state.
2. I am driving my own car. Never subjecting myself to someone else driving again if possible.
3. No one should be staying at anyone’s house, so if they have a melt down, you can simply escape them (me staying in Dev’s guest room, even though she outright invited me, was a huge mistake)
Something I would like to say that I think is kind of a relief, is that the other patrons got to see first hand what I deal with seemingly often. One day, someone is supportive of you, they act like you’re great. The next day you are the worst person ever to them right after you indicate to them that you have a problem with their hostile behavior.
I’m very glad that there were witnesses, and I’m very happy that I am still friends with every patron involved outside her. It was a validating moment to actually have people see first hand how because you simply say “What you did was not ok.” people can completely lose it and try to smear/villainize you.
But as I said, it is a relief that I was not the only one there, so others could see first hand, what really happened. I’m grateful for everyone other than Dev, for still being my friend & still being supportive after what we all went through.
One last note, Dev wanted to go boating on a river… I think she wanted us to paddle for like a mile or something, but I didn’t want to paddle, so I just stayed behind with another patron in the boat and we bumped into the walls of a bridge repeatedly for fun.
After Dev realized we didn’t want to paddle a mile, and wanted to just mess around/have fun, she abandoned everyone on her boat (she was the only one of us out of the five in a boat alone, she demanded it) – I didn’t realize Dev had paddled off alone till the other two told us she abandoned them as well. But I had a great time with my boat-mate.
When Dev got back, she continued to act frustrated with us as we giggled about bumping our boat into walls, and she abandoned everyone again, paddling off alone.
The four off us paddled back alone, racing in the most dysfunctional way, and found Dev had already beached herself and paid for her own boat.
It was… weird man.
Anyway, with all that being said, here is me being a total riot:
[Embed of the UhOhBro video "Retro People"]
League of Legends Girls: Useless Trash?
About Onision - November 6, 2019
So I’ve been playing League of Legends quite a bit these days. I started out having no idea what I was doing, but eventually I began to really understand the game.
If you don’t know about League, you basically have a dude or chick… or robot… and you control them by clicking around a big map. They go wherever you click.
In a normal game, like Diablo III, you would simply have a controller and whatever you push on the arrow pad or knob would direct them more specifically step by step. So? This whole interface was a bit new for me.
Overall, a group of five enemies has a home base, you and four people have your home base. The goal? You’re trying to fight through minions, towers and other human characters to get to their home base…. so you can destroy it.
I want to introduce you to some the of the characters I enjoy playing most and why and maybe you can find your own kind of love for them as well… first off Veigar.
[Image of Veigar]
That little guy you could kick and make an easy field goal with, who could also destroy you in a single spell.
Veigar is one of my favorite characters because he has a special power to lock people away temporarily with, what many call a “Baby cage.” You know… like in Rugrats.
When he traps you can can unleash some pretty heavy blows to your life without much resistance and hopefully you die. Ha ha and all that.
Veigar has all kinds of little horrible things to say like “I will swallow your soul”… cute. Especially considering it is done in a silly little voice that sounds like it came from an angry mouse.
Veigar’s ultimate move is pretty much the same as his other moves, useful and dangerous if leveled up/built on correctly.
When I first started playing him I was actually a bit disappointed because I thought from his default artwork that he was a giant horseman, when in fact, he is actually this very short little dweeb in a way… which kinda makes him even more endearing.
Now… another character I enjoy playing is Urgot. The big spider guy… he’s a great ally but bad enemy.
[Image of Urgot]
He’s fat, he’s a spider, he’s a man… he’s a fat spider-man.
Some of you may have sighed a little bit just by me mentioning Urgot because if you power up his automatic machine gun, he pretty much is well… horribly irritating to everyone who encounters him.
Basically Urgot has one of the most terrifying finishers because of the fact that when you are low enough health, you can press one button while pointed in the right direction and chains will lurch out of Urgot and pull you into him so he can… I guess, devour you.
As a player on the other, team, your whole screen becomes covered in chains and you’re pretty shook at that point… normally.
Now, Urgot is perfect for a three lane level, pretty decent for a one lane level, but not so much in modes where you can straight up spam your abilities as his abilities aren’t really about spamming, they’re more for being opportunistic.
Now the title of this article is centered on this idea that League of Legends girl characters are trash… well, you decide my opinion based on the following… one of my top four favorite characters to play as? Tristana.
[Image of Tristana]
Tristana is a cute little character who functions as a great ranged unit. If you end her life, you generally feel bad because she seems so defenseless and innocent, but make no mistake, this girl is lethal. She can plant a bomb on you, shoot you from really far away, and even dunk on you.
Basically the reasons I enjoy playing her are this (1) No ranged unit I’ve seen is better at taking down towers. Her bombs work on them which makes her powerful as heck.
(2) If you need to get away from someone, her W move can help you escape faster, and her other moves are basically centered on not being anywhere near the enemy when you attack, which is generally how I need to play anyway because I’m not very good at close ranged stuff.
(3) She racks up kills FAST when she is leveled up… like just mows through minions at a blistering rate. Considering every champion I’ve played… if anything, she’s basically my favorite character.
But liking one character doesn’t mean I’m not anti-girl just yet… so what if two of my top characters were girls? Oh my! Two awesome female champions in League? Yep.
Her name is Riven.
[image of Riven]
Riven has a sword that is probably heavier than the average grown man’s body. She can send “blade force” like waves at the enemy and is basically the female version of Cloud Strife (from FFVII) in my opinion.
I enjoy playing as her because she can typically take a hit and dish it out even better. She’s great at cutting through towers when leveled up and overall? I just like the lady’s aesthetic.
[Image of Riven]
If I had to rank my favorite characters to play overall, it would probably go like this:
1. Tristana 2. Veigar 3. Urgot 4. Riven
I feel this way pretty strongly… maybe because my score often follows the same trend… I score the most human kills with Tristana. I score the most assist human kills with Veigar. And the other two just generally dish out a lot of punishment to everyone.
Right now I’m trying out a number of characters, I’ve only played maybe… 12 different total characters so far and there are over 100 so, if you guys have any recommendations please DM me on Patreon (the only place I take mail these days) ~
So? My overall review of League of Legends… 10/10. For a multiplayer game, it’s the best out there right now.
[Star ratings for game details like graphics and sound]
Also! If you ever want to game with me in League of Legends, join my Patreon’s Discord and I’ll chat with you there! http://patreon.com/onision
Till then, here’s a video I just made about the League of Legends Girls!
[Embed of UhOhBro video "Best League of Legends Characters]