Tanya (Ex-Girlfriend)

Smurf Says... Warning! This page is not complete. There will be information and sources missing.

"A Sad Love Story", 2010 ($ource)

Tanya was Greg's ex-girlfriend from his teenage years. He stated many times that she was the first person he ever fell in love with. His relationship with her was very important to him and he would often talk about it on his websites, even after he became married to Skye. It is not exactly known when they dated.

All of the information on this page is 100% from Greg's own words.

Greg's Description of Tanya

On a 2005 archived version of his Onision site, Greg described Tanya as "A young lady I was once in love with... today I've seemed to find myself pushed further and more so away from her... though I was almost always enlightened by talking with her... I just find myself... distant... like it's all a faded memory." (Source)

Early Relationship

Greg estimates he met Tanya in 2001. She lived across the creek from his grandma's house. He claims they met at a "celebrative gathering", although she says she never even attended. Hee noticed her "amazing glow" and her optimism. They did not speak a lot there because he was too preoccupied with telling a relative that was critical of his clothing choice that he would bury their face in the ground.

According to Greg, the next time he saw her was Christmas. They talked and he made her laugh and giggle. He could not stop smiling. They went outside and stared at the sky together, talking about random things. (Source)

Dating

Although he never officially asked her out, he and Tanya began dating. Greg would beg his mom to take him to visit his grandma so he could cross the creek to visit Tanya. (Source)

Obsession

Greg expressed, even when writing about this past experience in 2004 and 2008, a very strange obsession with Tanya. He says he was addicted to her voice and presence and he was always desperate to see her. This is something he still expressed in 2004, despite being engaged to Skye.

Greg says while dating her, his "purpose was becoming her". He would often talk to her about their future, but she did not seem to reciprocate these thoughts.

She began calling him less and he described this time period as a mess. (Source)

Break-Up

Tanya broke up with Greg. He says she was the only person that he loved that had broken up with him.

At first, Tanya would continue to talk to Greg after their break-up. She would tell him there are other girls out there for him out there. He would always reply telling her she was the only person that fit him, she was the most amazing person he ever met, and she would be his last (a term he used at the time to describe a lasting marriage). (Source)

Post Break-Up

Greg says he cried at night often after they stopped talking. In 2004, he described this as "my entire life took a fall for one of the worst points I had ever experienced."

The only way he knew how to recover from the break-up was to make her the bad guy. He convinced himself she was wrong for him all along. He also convinced himself that she treated him wrongly and she could not care about anyone, as if she had no soul. He says he was not trying to degrade her, but to save himself from heart-ache.

It took him 6 months to begin to find other girls attractive again and longer to want to start dating again. He says it was a daily challenge not to call or email her.

A year after the relationship ended, Greg decided to call Tanya. She was happy he called and they began talking again. (Source)

Websites

"Tanya", Death Reaper song

There are traces of Tanya throughout Greg's pre-success websites.

2002 Song

On Greg's 2002 Death Reaper website, he had a downloadable song titled "Tanya". This song can still be downloaded off the archived version of the website. (Source)

2004 Account

Sometime in 2004 to 2005, Greg wrote about Tanya in the Gregory J. Danial version of his Onision site on his "A Life's Story" page. (Source) On the site, he accounts important events and relationships he had throughout his life. He says he feels like he and Tanya have lost touch.

2008 Blog Post

On February 21, 2008, Greg was inspired by a dream he had to write a long blog post to Tanya titled, "Tanya [...] - Gregory Misses You Terribly". This blog post was extremely long and detailed about his feeling for Tanya, despite being married for about 3 years to Skye at the time. (Source)

2009 Meeting

Greg met up with Tanya in 2009. "A few months" later, on March 9, 2010, Greg uploaded "A Sad Love Story" to his Speaks channel talking about his relationship with Tanya and their meet up. Greg starts off the video by explaining that he fell hard for the girl he dated before marrying Skye, but she dumped him. He says when he found Skye, he began his recovery. He wipes his nose. As he rubs his forehead, he talks about how he had been in love with this girl for so long. He says he finally fell out of love with her when he was in Korea when he found out she used drugs and "had sex with random people". Before this, he says he respected her and looked up to her because she "owned" him when arguing and would change his perspective.

Greg says he saw her a few months ago and they hugged. His mom was upset with him because she knows how he felt for her. She asked her, "What are you doing here? My son is married." He says he called her after and he told her they could never meet up again, only talk over the phone. He says he did this because Skye was uncomfortable with him being around her. He says he understands her positions and he wanted to respect her wishes. He says he has since called her twice and she never returned her calls. He says this is a reoccurring problem he had with her. He says it's been about 6 or 7 months, so he concludes she did not contact him just for conversation. He thought she was an intellectual rather than someone interested in a person's sexuality or presence. He says she commented about how handsome she thought he was and how her heart would beat irregularly around him because of how much she loves him. He says she told him she wishes she could go back and not break up with him because of who he became. Not the YouTube fame, but the lessons he learned, although he does not want to speak about these lessons on YouTube.

He says this changes how he sees this person and it's unfortunate tat one of the people he respected became so low. He talks to her and says if she ever watches this, he hopes she'd reconsider their friendship. ($ource)