List of ex-girlfriends and crushes Greg has spoken about, but there is not enough information for them to have their own articles. Greg dated all of these girls before he began dating his first wife, Skye, in high school.
There are two main information sources for this list. One is an early version of his Onision site, where he lists important people he's known throughout his life. (Source 1) (Source 2) The other is a 2015 video "People Onision Has Dated (Ex Girlfriends)". ($ource)
All pictures on this article are images of women Greg found as examples of what the girls looked like.
Girls Greg dated and/or had crushes on in Elementary School.
Greg says one day a boy named Phillip said Aubry was his girlfriend and told Greg to get away from her. He said other "nasty things", so Greg asked Aubry if she minded watching him beat Phillip. She said she did not, so he turned around and "began swinging as hard and fast as I could..." Phillip grabbed Greg's long hair and flipped him. Greg says he landed on the ground and Phillip "managed to land quite a few punches." The fight was broken up and Greg says Phillip cried and Greg smiled. Greg says he and Phillip were "ok" after the fight, but Phillip passed away two years later.
He says he and Aubry never talked after the incident.
Greg says he had a crush on Alana in elementary school. He says she always had surgeries on her arm and felt bad for her.
Greg says he fell for Amber in the 4th grade and she ws the most beautiful girl he met up until that point. He says he spoke to her on occasion, but in 2005 he said he lost track of her.
In the 4th grade, he asked a girl out that looked like Winona Ryder with a letter. She ended up dumping with with a letter.
This could be Amber (above).
Girls Greg dated and/or had crushes on when he was 10 to 12 years old.
Greg says Lindsey asked him out when he was in the 5th grade. He didn't understand what she meant and asked, "which movie?" She later broke up with him from a line he believes she got from the WB. He says it was all a "sham", but he thought she was funny at the time.
JuliaFather's church and he thought she was gorgeous. He says she told him, "You have the heart of a 15 year old." In 2005, he says, "at the time, and even know, I think it was cheesy, but the truth of the matter is, she meant something more, that I am older in mind than many..."
He says she crawled into his bed at a church retreat cabin filled with other people sleeping. He made out with her and "finger banged" her. They got up early the next morning and did it again. She later said she was ashamed at herself for making-out with an 11-year-old, but he thought it was awesome.
He says the next year they met in the same cabin and he found out she loved his friend Michael.
In 2005, he says they barely talk anymore. "I assume it just reminds her of mistakes, or simply a painful past what with the people I am associated with."
Greg says he dated Crystal in the 6th grade. He says she looked like Zooey Deschanel, "except she was Mexican". She dumped him because she thought he had blue eyes, when he really had green eyes.
Girls Greg dated and/or had crushes on when he was a teenager
Greg says he asked out Monica in the 7th grade. He says "she basically looked like Jennifer Love Hewitt with braces." They dated for two weeks. She dumped him because her friend did not like him.
Greg had a crush on Jennifer when he was 15. Jennifer is Michael's sister. They attended Greg's father's church. Greg says she was hyper and loved to run. Greg says he had his eyes on Jennifer for a while. He loved her high energy and he thought she was fun. He also notes that he liked that she was inexperienced with boys because he likes "teaching people about everything".
Greg confessed his feelings for her in a letter, but she called him and told him she did not think of him the same way. Greg continued to see her for a while whenever he would visit his father.
Greg says he met Ashley in his high school Earth Club. They spoke on and off for three years. Eventually they began watching movies together in each other's arms. The relationship came to an end when Greg invented his religion, Sicesca, and they had a huge fight over it. Ashley told Greg she never wanted to speak to him again and he laughed about it.
Greg did not specify when he dated these girls.
Greg says he thought that Keesha was "literally, psychotically in love with me... like... horror film "in-love"." He says everything she owned had his name on it and "every other word she spoke was one directed towards me, about me..." He says he broke up with her because she hit on him too much. He tied to tell her he preferred smiling as flirting, but she did not understand.
In 2005, while talking about their short relationship, Greg says, "she's quite fantastic, she has a wonderful laugh, beautiful eyes, smile.. she just makes me feel comfortable..." They possibly could have still been friends at that point as he kept in contact with many of his exes at that time.
|Pre-YouTube Era||Christina • Shiree • Tashina • Tanya • Minor Exes|
|Skye Era (2005 - 2010)||Skye - Alimony|
|Shiloh Era (2010 - 2012)||Shiloh - Shiloh Forgot Me • Shiloh Threatened Me • The Truth (Video) • Rogue • Sepsis|
|Lainey Solo Era (2012 - 2016)||Lainey - Snail Mail Stalker|
|"Trinity" Era (2016 - ongoing)||Billie - Cuddlegate • The Trinity • Basementgate|