2020 Blog

Blog Greg maintained in 2020. He began posting to his existing 2011 Blog in 2020, but later moved it to Onision.Co.

This is a text archive.

April 30, 2020

Final Fantasy VII REMIX: Awful

Alright, so I played Final Fantasy VII Remix all the way through… was it amazing? Debatable. I want to go through some stuff that really matters.

Important features:

1. Better battle system than last game: NO
2. Improved graphics: YES
3. Same story-line: NO
4. Non-PC events removed: YES BUT WHY???
5. Same bang for your buck: ABSOLUTELY NOT
6. Open-world gameplay: NO NO NO
7. Getting to know the characters TOO well: YES, BECOMING BORING

So I want you to understand, if I had never played Final Fantasy VII, I might think this game is AMAZING, but the problem is, I didn’t want what they gave me, I wanted what we had before only really-well polished.

[image of Sephiroth]

Oh Sephiroth appears… again… for the 3,000th time in this game.

I was literally playing FFVII REMAKE thinking “You know what was more fun than this? The Original. I want to play the original.” – Like literally, they actually made me love the original even more because I never realized how horrible it was to constantly be given only a few tasks to do, a few places to go at a time, with no real freedom.

Spoiler alert, in this game, you NEVER get out of Midgar. There are 18 total chapters and they’re all literally dragged out versions of the original storyline, only with the fun parts removed…

Like remember when Red XIII was locked in a room with Aerith and he was acting like a total perv? That was creepy, that was horrible, and also, totally necessary to establish what a nut Hojo was, and how real the game was willing to be (like, you know, F PC culture, let’s put something insane, to really establish the scientists insanity, in the game)

[image of Cloud]

Trans Cloud? No complaints here 🙂

But no, they removed that. They also removed A LOT of what made the process of creating a dress for Cloud fun. Like you no longer get bathed by strange men in a brothel… what???

This time? You get a random hand massage at a different location and a number of other events go down not even worth mentioning.

Now to be totally confusing, I will say, I’m definitely buying and playing the sequel to this. It’s a pretty amazing game, it’s beautiful to look at, the gameplay is pretty decent, but it’s nothing compared to the original.

This is just like people who read the Harry Potter books going to see the movies… sometimes people are bummed out by what was not included, just happens. But this time we’re talking about video games… there are key components that need to be included when you do a remake… you know… LIKE THE GAMEPLAY ITSELF.

[image of Zack]

Who is Zack? Who cares.

You couldn’t even play Red XIII, which was a huge bummer. Also, Sephiroth, showed up seemingly every hour, that’s way too much. He’s supposed to be mysterious and unreachable, but he’s basically that dude who you see every day at work, sniffing glue in the break room.

Overall what I’m saying is, this game was great, but as far as remakes go, it was a total let down. It was so beautiful, so fun and so cool… but not as fun as FFVII the original, not as cool as the original and ok yeah, it has better graphics.

You don’t get to ride chocobos, they don’t have “ALL” materia (what???) when you max out Materia they sell for crap & summons don’t level up either… why? Because the game is way too short.

What I mean by short is, it would take me 24-48 hours to beat the original, ok, cool. This game? If you sit through all the videos they play, you could see the same gameplay time, but the problem? You accomplish way, way less.

[image of Charlie Sheen and a character dressed similarly]

I’m really glad they had Charlie Sheen cameo!

Pretty much for every time you battle in the remake, you battle 10 times in the original. In the original you level up faster, you get to new locations faster, you generally accomplish tasks faster, everything feels more productive.

Gosh… I’m so disappointing but also grateful. Like I’m glad we got to see and play what we did, even though there were so many puzzles and mundane tasks… it’s just, I wish they called it “Final Fantasy VII: If It Was Made By KPOP Fans”

So what is my official rating of the game?

9/10

April 19, 2020

Does Size Matter?

First of all, yes, it matters. If you’re the size of a tic tac that’s going to make a difference. Duh. Now moving on…

Today, I was looking to make content for my OnlyFans… and I needed to do some research in order to post the “full frontal” that I wanted to… unfortunately for me, when you search for men who take pictures in the mirror, it’s mostly just a bunch of dudes who are really really well endowed. And for my purposes, that does not help.

Now if you Google “How Big Is The Average Man’s… juuuuunk” you will likely find it is 5-7… depending on what inbred town you go around measuring… haha. We’re talking guys who are fully aroused, how big are they down stairs, yeah, 5-7 for most the population of Earth. Ultimately what we’re saying is late 5 inches, or early 6 inches.

Alright, so I’m looking at all these dude’s selfies and I’m like, what even. These dudes are 7-12 inches, and have oddly small balls… how am I, a lowly average man, supposed to compete with that? Well, those are dumb thoughts, dumb. Because that was not the point of my search in the first place. I was just trying to find something I could compare myself to & utilize.

So how did I find something that I could use? A normal man you know? I’m not talking those Greek statues which are a good 2.3 inches flaccid, no. I’m talking just a dude. Well… I found it.

Heath Ledger & Orlando Bloom, those two guys have much more common looking man parts, and that was my out. I was able to find what REAL people look like, because here’s a reality check.

1. Heath & Orlando were not famous for their size. Their forte is acting.
2. Both of them were snapped in public, so no photoshop, no tricks, just off guard, this is what it really looks like.
3. If you want to find average, it doesn’t get more average than a male celebrity. We all know celebrities are more often than not, impressive in only one way.

So a lot of us worry about our size, a lot of us ask ourselves is it important… well, fact is those men showed up in search results at the very top because that is what people are searching for. They don’t want to see your average size, they want to see some dude who pumped it up beyond what is normal.

On a similar note I’d like to address a really bad point a comedian made not too long ago, and later on Tiger King made to his boyfriend(s) to convince them that they’re not totally straight…

So it goes something like this “When you look at adult videos, what do you want to see, a guy with a big johnson, or a guy with a small one?” And naturally, people often say “A big one!!!” because guess what, small ones make most of us… sad.

In response to the question answered, the gay man, Tiger King, moves on to imply that the guy isn’t really straight and therefore should be ok with dating him because he prefers the bigger dude’s junk. Well… no. No no no. If you asked “Do you wanna see adult movies with a HUGE MASSIVE HORSE-LIKE dong, or an average, decent, normal one?” most everyone is going to say… the normal one.

What I’m saying is… it was never about being a little gay or not. People just don’t want to be bummed out by the obvious sadness that comes with being less blessed. Additionally, a typical woman will often enjoy an average to slightly above average man, than one who is TINY or HORSE LIKE. People jump to saying you want to see the bigger one because they also want to see the woman impressed more.

Just a random ignorant theory I think most searches for larger johnsons come from gay guys because the only people I know of who have asked about my package? Gay guys.

It’s my understanding most women are about how you make them feel, not how many tears you give them downstairs. I’m only basing this off talking to women who had larger-sized boyfriends or ex’s and… 1 complained a lot about pain, the other complained a lot about pain, and the third… well ok, she bragged. But we all know that chick. We know what she’s about.

Long story short, there’s a reason there are women who hate the sight of male junk. There’s a reason there are women who only like other women. There’s a reason why men who are as small as you could imagine still find relationships and that’s simply because a lot of women want to be with the person, not with a disproportionate love doll.

If size was truly important, most straight women and gay men would be with literal dolls shipped from Japan. Why bother with human relationships if all you care about is size?

But do straight women/gay men mind it if you’re a decent/healthy size? For most, not at all.

So the hard truth is, yeah, being a little bigger than average isn’t the worst, but if you’re one of the small guys, it’s not over for you either. I’ve seen it myself… guys openly admitting they’re tiny, and women still date them.

I mean, there was a rumor one woman said “Is it in yet?” to the guy at one point, but I’m pretty sure he started the rumor about himself.

Just think about what it would be like to be with a woman who wasn’t exactly what society demand she be. Maybe she’s not the right fit down there, maybe upstairs she doesn’t fill in, or fills in too much. Would you care? Would it “matter” to you?

Probably not very much at all… unless you’re like… a person who only cares about body and not at all actual meaningful relationships? In which case, you got bigger problems.

You ever hear about a guy dumping a girl because she was not well-endowed? Ever hear of a girl doing that to a guy? What did you think of the guy? Or the girl? Probably that anyone who makes that big of a deal of how you were born… likely not your kind of homie? Right.

If I had a boyfriend (with man parts) I’d personally hope he’d be a size that could hold it’s own. Not too big, not too small. I feel that way because I wouldn’t want it to distract me from the actual interactions we’d be having.

If it’s too small, I’m thinking about size. If it’s too big, I’m thinking about size. If it’s just right? Now I can just look into my boyfriend’s eyes, and think about the person I’m with, rather than the thing that stands out like a sore thumb.

So ultimately… what I learned is in fantasy, when people are searching for things online, people do prefer slightly bigger. That’s for certain. But in reality, most of us are average, and to let that bog you down, well… who are you trying to impress? For the average person, average is literally what their body is designed for. If you are average in size or close to it, and the person your with is also average, guess what? That means you’re perfect.

Most of us were made to fill each other, complete each other, perfectly. Most of us, are lucky AF just the way we are.

April 18, 2020

A Boring Political Post

So there is a virus that has caused most all of us to be locked in our homes for weeks now. As a result of our isolation, a virus that has been sweeping the world, is now less successful than before at ending human lives… sounds like progress right?

Unfortunately a lot of people are politicians or otherwise puppets of politicians. What the loud-mouthed, greed-driven folks in charge of numerous aspects of our society are doing is seemingly manipulating the narrative to essentially improve their polling & profitability.

The conservatives, many of them, seem to want us to open back up the country, starting with a few states, to essentially, allegedly, save the economy. Our president has spun his exposing more people to the virus (inevitably) as “liberating” us… from what? Life itself?

So virus’s have been said to decline during hot times of year, and increase during cold times… I have a few questions about that.

1. Many have warned about it coming back, even worse, in the winter… does this mean we shut down the economy again right before the election?
2. Are we shutting down the country next year too? Numerous sources have said we are potentially going to experience the same virus the same time next year.
3. If it is all like the flu, doesn’t that mean there will be multiple versions of it, and therefore even if we vaccinate one version, won’t we be vulnerable to other versions? Thus creating a never-ending problem?

The idea is, we open the country now and we save our “children” or “grandchildren” from enormous debt… but who is even going to have those children if we’re too dead to have them? And wait… I thought we were already burdened with the enormouse debt of our own parents and grandparents…

Additionally, remember how we were mad at our dads & grandpas for polluting the earth/destroying the ozone? Well apparently our isolation has caused the Earth to recover in a significant way due to an enormous reduction of travel/motor vehicles being on the road.

What I’m saying is… if we really care about the next generations… why not worry about life itself, not just money? What about destroying the Earth? Why are Republicans in such a hurry to get back to killing the planet for the sake of money?

Additionally I’d like to talk about the stock market. Initially when the virus began hitting America, the stock market plummeted. It went from 29,000 points to 19,000 in a matter of days. I feel like I’m living in a crazy alternate dimension because people are actually investing so much in the stock market that it’s bounced back to about 24,000. Why? Why?

It doesn’t make a bit of sense for the following reason: When companies begin reporting their earnings as well as the general state of their companies, very little of it is going to be good news for most. In that, most every time, those individual stocks will plummet. Or am I wrong?

Right now we have a group of investors who pull out the moment our president sneezes on Twitter. You could lose literally thousands of dollars just because some dude in the White House had a bad day and handled it on Twitter like a baby instead of managing the issue in private with their therapist.

It used to be we had leadership that would never want to say or do anything that could demolish a person’s savings. Now it’s like every other day, you have crazy people saying/doing crazy things causing absolute havoc to our financial system.

So in summary what I’m suggesting is that everything should be handled by listening to the experts who are absent of political bias. We need leadership that cares about saving lives, not saving money.

You put people back to work now, you may save some money now, but long run, you lose those people, that means you lost someone who could have created a product, or produced an essential service. You create strain on the medical system and leave families with medical debt.

Without people, money has no value. For some reason though, people who have money, so so much money, don’t consider this as much as those who have much less. It’s almost like when you get money, you often forget how to function as a normal person. You forget what matters, and you fail to realize, none of it really matters.

If it costs us millions, billions or trillions to save hundreds of thousands of lives, maybe that is worth it. We can’t just go back to work and pretend the problem does not exist.

We have a significant risk of a similar, if not the same virus spreading in the future. We need to be better prepared, we need to have a medical system that can save your life physically without destroying it financially. What we need is to adapt to this risk now that it is more real than ever, and we need to accept that the world we went to bed in yesterday, is not the same world we woke up in today.

We want to go back and pretend this never happened, but it did. It’s time to wake up, and take on the new world, like adults who, like all survivors, evolve to meet the challenges that face us.

But again, I’m just some random idiot, so what do I know?

April 17, 2020

Take Me Away

I worked on this song for a bit… at some point I got an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to finish it… I thought I was failing again…

After my eyes stopped watering… I got up and finished the song… I was surprised by how much my perception of myself altered reality. It’s actually a good song.

[embed of video with song]

But I can do better. I hope I will in the future.

April 16, 2020

A Theory About Jeffree Star

Hi… for those of you who do not know, I am Onision. I used to be the #67 most subscribed on all of YouTube and ever since then I’ve been falling down the most subscribed YouTubers list right into absolute anonymity… in a way.

So that’s fun… but that’s also life, and I’m kind of relieved because fame is one of the worst things ever. I didn’t like being stopped at the mall, the restaurant, the airport etc for people to say “Oh my god are you that guy from YouTube?”

When you first get recognized it makes you blush, you’re like “Woah cool, I’m relevant.” but after a while? You just want to be left alone, you don’t want people looking at you… at all. And that’s where I am now. I want to be a nobody who makes something, not a somebody who makes nothing.

Anyway, this post is about Jeffree Star because a long time ago a man named Damon Elliott was a friend of mine… I don’t think we’re friends anymore considering the last time I talk to him, he said we were friends, but then made plans with me for the 5th time only to not follow through.

That’s LA though, people make plans and then don’t follow through all the time. Had the same issue with numerous people, like Shane. People from LA typically say “Hey, we should hang out soon!” or “Let’s meet up when you’re in town” – Then you get in town, and nothing. They are nowhere to be found. Not responding to your messages, not calling you back… mind you I don’t call people pretty much ever but you get the point.

Anyway, so I met Damon through a girl named Shiloh. I was dating her at the time, and Damon was producing her music. Damon actually gave me housing when Shiloh was taken away by the police back in 2011. Really nice of him to hook me up for a few days like he did. He also found me a place I could rent out for a few months with my friend Cyr.

So Damon and I are hanging out and he calls up his friend Jeffree Star. This is before Jeffree was huge on YouTube. At the time Jeffree drove what looked like a pink Scion or some square/box looking car. Damon hyped me up, telling Jeffree we should collab together and made mention of someone being tied up in a chair as part of a comedy sketch. Jeffree was down to collaborate, so it sounded, and Damon drove me to meet up with him in a recording studio.

Once I got to the recording studio I commented on how I smelled pot, Damon denied it, implying I didn’t know what pot smelled like… I’m rarely wrong & I saw joints in an ashtray inside to confirm my suspicion. I don’t think it belonged to Damon, I’m really only commenting on it because weed has bothered me for some time.

Jeffree showed up and Damon left Jeffree and I alone in the recording studio for an extended period of time.

The recording studio was very poorly lit and Jeffree had no makeup from what I could see. What this meant is you have a guy, sitting on a couch, in a dark room, staring at me with his legs and arms crossed, who happens to have no eyebrows and is incredibly pale faced… in other words, terrifying.

Jeffree began to speak to me as I paced back and forth on a platform in front of him. The platform I assume was raised to allow all the electrical wires underneath the recording equipment to remain discreet. Jeffree’s statements were all sexually charged. He opened with asking me if I was gay, only he used the F word. He then said that “I must like sucking ****” referring to male genitalia. For about 5-10 minutes he proceeded to repeating himself. Telling me I was gay, that I liked performing sexual acts on men & an assortment of other sexually charged language.

At the time I just laughed, I thought it was… weird and funny, because we were supposed to do a comedy video together and I assumed he had a sense of humor.

After a short bit Damon came back in the room and eventually we all left without collaborating. I had said pretty much nothing to Jeffree the entire time, but he still later tweeted me that it was nice to meet me.

Years later it came to public attention that Jeffree Star had grabbed a straight man’s genitals, in public, on camera. It also came to public attention that Jeffree was particularly interested in straight men… and that got me to thinking…

1. If I were in Jeffree’s position on that couch, and it was a woman I spoke to like that, what would people assume? Probably that I wanted to sleep with her.

2. Damon never explained why he left us alone in that room. Damon was seemingly good friends with Jeffree. Jeffree was into straight men… so why was Damon leaving me alone in a room with a man who was into straight men, who was sexually overactive and clearly targeting me? Was I being set up?

3. What would have happened if I said yes I was? What did Jeffree expect or want from me? And why is it this is acceptable because it’s me… but if a woman went through the same thing with Jeffree or better yet, someone less popular, society would be outraged?

So… I just wanted to share these thoughts… I still consider Jeffree Star to be terrifying… but I’m not some kind of victim of a horrible crime or anything. It was just creepy talk from a gay man, actively sexually degrading me and who knows what else, the moment I was left alone in a room with him.

Maybe he’s changed for the better since then… but, that’s the face I see whenever I think of him… just some creepy, demonic looking pale faced man, saying horrible things to me alone in a dark room.

April 13, 2020

Dear Soulmate

As a person in the public eye, I've found a lot of times people will come to me and say they are my soulmate... which is a lovely, cool thing... until you look deeper.

DISCLAIMER: I'm not proof reading this, there may be typos... but it's 2am and I just want to go to sleep, so I'm letting this all out... for the sake of the ZZZZZZ's

Alright... so, to the person this is partially about (a woman who is 25 years old, recently almost actually got me to believe she was potentially actually real... then... "oh yeah I smoke weed but just for anxiety" --- no you don't --- otherwise you'd use the actual medicine without the THC - what? You think I haven't heard that bullshit excuse before?), I want you to know this isn't about lashing out to hurt anyone... I don't want to hurt anyone... but normally when I do a "express how I feel" segment, it winds up hurting feelings, and I hate that. Fact is, my feelings are hurt, my heart hurts and this sucks. And yet... how do I get the message across without being as blunt and honest as possible? I gotta speak the truth, and if it hurts, well... I don't know what to say... I wish you well, I want you to be happy, just with someone like you... and I am not like you.

I would just write this privately, but I know people out there go through this, and I also want people to understand, before they ever write me claiming to be my soulmate... this just isn't it.

First off...

1. If you are my soulmate, you do not smoke weed. I know, this makes a lot of people upset with me. They say things like "Bro, it's a harmless drug bro" "Dude, alcohol is way worse dude" so... let me give you a back story.

Every. Person. I. Have. Ever. Dated. Who. Smokes. Weed. Is. A. Piece. Of. Shit.

Every. Single. One.

Let me go through a few examples...

The person I lost my virginity to when I was 14? Wound up cheating on me. She also said "I'll quit pot for you" "Pot is no big deal" "Quitting is easy" --- then guess what? She just wound up smoking behind my back, completely lying to me.

You know who also did that? A chick who said she was my soulmate, one who talked about us having past lives together... who did all the horoscope crap and convinced me there was something supernatural, even divine about our relationship.

Same chick? Caught her chatting to her friends about how much she missed smoking weed, how it was so incredible and when she went back to Canada how much drugs she would do... this is a chick I didn't even know was into drugs. Just lying the whole time.

Another chick who smoked weed, same deal. "We're soulmates" "Look at our horoscope" "Oh I won't do weed, it's easy to quit, you're more important" then - boom, right on to smoking weed. Only recently? Heard they were doing Acid too... whatever that is.

Another girl, openly says she does cocaine, tried to ruin my life, says she smokes weed to help her sleep. Says she is getting a medical marijuana card because of her "medical problems" which guess what guys, you don't have medical problems, otherwise you'd use the derivative produces of marijuana, you know, without the high????

In fact, CBD oil, heard nothing but good things about it... funny how people who smoke weed talk about all the GREAT BENEFITS of smoking it, completely omitting the fact (1) You don't have to smoke it to get the benefits (2) You don't have to get blood shot eyes (3) Your breath doesn't have to smell/taste like garbage (4) You don't have to hurt your ability to remember things as efficiently as you did before (5) You don't have to be addicted while constantly claiming you can "quit any time"

Guess what, YOU ALL say that, YOU ALL say you can quit any time, and you know what? YOU DON'T.

Now let's move on... aside from the fact most everyone I've met who does marijuana has also lied to me, cheated on me, comitted crimes &/or straight up faked their entire personality just to get in my good graces...

2. If you are my soulmate, at this point, you're pretty much dead inside. You see how COINCEDENTALLY most everyone who calls me their soulmate is 19-33 years old. They're coincedentally female and oh yeah, at the HEIGHT of the age they are programmed to reproduce at... what? SCIENCE???? WEIRD!!!!

You are not my soulmate, your biological clock is ticking and you're trying to throw the soulmate thing around because that helps maintain a long term relationship with a partner, when you unwittingly manipulate someone into believing they are meant to be with you... FOREVER. WOAH.

Sounds a lot like religion right? "Ya gotta be there for life! Because who else will raise the kids if you don't think your eternal soul is bound to me forever!!!" (I mean there is the whole... natural inclination to protect your offspring, but that doesn't work for everyone, some people need religion too, yeet)

Let's move on to 3!

3. To my soulmate, I'm married... woah! And guess what, every woman, yes, it's always a woman, not a 40 year old man, not a cat, or talking horse, ALWAYS a woman, again, of the age people typically breed at... coincedence totally... soulmates just happen to exist primarily around the prime time to forward our species..........

Anyway, I'm married... and while I'm not exactly polyamorous due to the unbearable jealousy issues that come with two female components being in the same room with each other, almost seemingly competing for the male components favor (yuck, love each other dude, not just the guy) --- but while I'm not totally monogomouse either - if you come at me with that "Hey, I love you, you're my soulmate, and your partner is cool too" vibe, it just doesn't work.

Here is a reality. I work... all... the... time. So you come in my life, the only person you're going to see most the time, is my partner, not me. So why even talk to me? I'm a workaholic and I really only want my partner to be happy... like, the idea of you loving me is great, fantastic, but at the same time, I built a castle, it's my life... and every woman before you has come along, thinking they can just steal me away... no bitch, no.

Every. Single. Time it seems. Let's do a little SOULMATE... THING!

Step 1. "Soulmate" introduces themselves to me or my partner.
Step 2. "Soulmate" shows unbearable affection when they think they are in a position to date us.
Step 3. "Soulmate" becomes an item with us... woah! Cool! Congrats!
Step 4. Partner gets uncomfortable with "soulmate" because "soulmate" is getting TOO intense with other partner (me).
Step 5. "Soulmate" ….. "Hey male component, want to leave your partner for me? Tee hee hee!!!"

Out bitch. Out.

Out. Now. Never talk to me again.

And guess what? Then "soulmate" winds up going on an all out rampage trying to ruin my life... all while smoking pot? No, rarely just pot... they just spin the wheel of illegal substances and woo hoo! Rejected soulmate galaxy adventure!

Hoooooooo…. here comes another big one...

4. To my soulmate, if you have BPD, we are not compatible. If you have bi polar whatever, we are not compatible. Wanna know why? Because when I dump "soulmates" like you, I fear for my life, almost every time. And wouldn't you know it, almost every single person who smokes pot before they're 20 years old, seems to wind up having some kind of serious aggressive mental disorder (based on most everyone I've dated) --- so scientists, might wanna check that out - because I have YET to meet a person with BPD who has never smoked pot. WEIRD.

Bottom line, the only two people I've had to lock the door at night, to avoid, because I thought they would kill me after I dumped them... that's right, both pot heads, with BPD. Scary.

Aaaaaanyway…

So what I'm saying I guess is... I'm tired of people telling me they are my soulmate... because guess what... today you say you're my soulmate... tomorrow? The next day? Shit... next week... you might just be telling me, or even the whole world, what a horrible person you magically think I am now...

And that kinda says it all... because I didn't start the soulmate conversation... you did. You all did. You all looked at our horoscope charts, talking about how the configuration of the stars blah blah blah somehow made us perfect for making babies... well... I'm sick of it. I'm tired of the games, the lies and of course, your drug addictions.

You know what you all are? Stoners. You're so doped up that you can't see straight and somehow, I'm a magnet for you people.

So really? I think this is just the thing I'm going to send people who try to say they're my soulmate from now on...

I used to believe in soulmates you know? I used to... I used to think there was a perfect person out there for me... I thought it was the person I lost my virginity to when I was 14... then she cheated on me... then she proved like everyone else, that a stupid plant was more important than our entire relationship - just like every other dumb weed-smoker proved the exact same thing when they all promised they would stop, they all promised it meant nothing to them, and they all went on smoking it, lying to my face.

I just can't do it anymore.

I don't trust people. I don't believe anything you say because I've heard it all.

So no... you are not my soulmates.

We are destined to die forgotten, we all are. This belief that there are future or past lives is an invention of your own delusion to avoid facing the painful reality that we are all mere echos of history, echos that just like our own existence become still, silent, and eventually gone like they never even were.

You are not special. You are generic just like me. We are copies, of copies of copies.

And reality check, if you don't believe me, just look at your own damn horiscopes. Why the hell do you think we are lumped into Scorpios, Cancers, Libras etc... why do you think that is? Because we are a dime a dozen. Our personality traits are incredibly common, and it seems like, if your compatable with me because I am a Scorpio, than you're pretty much compatable with every other Scorpio on Earth, which is only... I donno… HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE...

…"SOULMATE"

And yeah, I know this sucks. I know it's not fun killing the fantasy. I know it feels wonderful to be in love and play along with the idiocy of the concept of "twin flames" and all that lovely pretty shit... but you know what? That stupid shit gives me hopes... it makes me say to myself "Wow, really? Gosh this is so exciting! Maybe it's real! Maybe there is more meaning to the universe and... oh, well, pretty sure that's... yep, that's the chick who just tried to convince me I'm her soulmate fucking some other dude... didn't even get to finish my statement... she's already... yep... ok, oh she's pregnant with his baby now? Didn't even bother to tell me we weren't dating anymore? Oh... cool... yeah, soulmates... ha... suuuuper."

Just remember, to all the people offended by this destruction of idealism and fantasy.

YOU. MADE. ME.And... where I once had hopes and dreams... I now have no hopes and dead dreams... so... thanks.

April 11, 2020

What It's Like Being Fake #MeToo'd

We all seem to love judging each other, but what is important is that you ask yourself, is your opinion of someone relevant? Is a law-abiding citizen somehow a bad person just because you have different ways of living your life, ways that only look bad when you spin them to appear that way?

Most everyone has an ex who feels upset because they don't want to be with them anymore. But does that justify trying to ruin their life?

About half a year ago three women I broke up with over a span of 9 years decided to speak to a man whose best known for confronting men who pursue 13 year old girls. A man who was fired from his job after someone ended their own life, and the company he worked for lost over a hundred million dollars.

[Image of Greg and Skye with her face blocked out]

Onision with is girlfriend (at the time) in 2005 at Lackland AFB, TX.

The three women I broke up with were not only legally consenting when I was with them, but were nowhere near what the "predator catcher" typically addressed. When someone who is just a puppet pretends to be an actual investigative journalist only to resort to bias, speculation & slander, you have an enormous problem.

Woman 1, now in her late 20's, I met when she was 17, this was many years ago. The legal age of consent in my state was more than fine, as well as the other state. We met in the other state where the legal age of consent, again, did not conflict with our relationship whatsoever.

In fact, with woman 1, because I was actively making online vlogs at the time, I had a tripod set up in the room we were staying in. The cleaning lady thought we were making adult films, reported us to the police & we were confronted right away.

The police looked through my laptop and found nothing violating any laws whatsoever. The police confirmed our relationship was legal, and as they clearly approved of our relationship (finding no problem with it) we proceeded to continue dating from there.

Woman 2, I met her when she was 19. Again, legal relationship.

Woman 3, I proceeded to dating her after she blackmailed me. She was an adult, and proposed that if I wanted her to not destroy my life (not sure how she could at the time, but still concerning), that I had to sleep with her. The exact context was she previously, as an adult, implied she could destroy my life as "a joke". I took it as a joke and moved on. Months later I asked her if we could both sign an NDA. I did this because previous friends had attacked me publicly, and I had attacked previous friends publicly as well. I did not want to risk losing more friends because of another careless Twitter rant of mine or theirs.

When I asked if she would sign the NDA, she said "Only if I get what I want" - What she had previously and repeatedly implied, is that she wanted to sleep with myself and another person at the same time. The other person however, was not sure if they wanted to sleep with her. The other person was pressured into it strongly by Woman 3, who had previously "attacked" that person with a forceful kiss, then Woman 3 jumped back and said "FU*K"

To be clear, I believed Woman 3 had good intentions, so I was encouraging the other person take part in the relationship as well. Not as strongly as Woman 3, but still.

Back to woman 1. While I broke up with her many times (7-9 times), and she broke up with me 2-3 times. The most recent incident involved facebook, I found out through an email with a facebook post screencap that she and her new boyfriend were bragging about how good it was for them to sleep together. They even spoke of her being pregnant. The problem? I was actively sending her money to survive in Canada while she awaited getting her passport back. One she said she lost. Additional problem? She was actively dating me.

So I broke up with her, and I wrote this song about her:

["Her Lies" music video embed]

After I broke up with her, she released a blog, saying that she would always love me and talked about how special I was to her. I didn't want to hear anything from her, she had just cheated on me. But years after she publicly said how great I am? She decided to speak to the man who pursues people who go after 13 year olds in a criminal manner, as if I was even remotely similar to those men.

Woman 2 additionally spoke to the same man, who seemed upset when she replied that she was always an adult when we had any interactions. Dead end for the "predator hunter", just like Woman 1, who had already had her relationship with me approved upon by the police.

Woman 3 became another dead end when she confirmed repeatedly, publicly, that our relationship had only occurred once she, as an adult. She admitted she blackmailed me into being with her, but wrote it off as "joking".

I use the analogy of "If you go into a bank, and you use a squirt gun that looks like a real gun, that doesn't change the fact that you still walked out with the money. You still got what you wanted, joking or not. It's a crime."

While this post is a simplified version of the overall events, I didn't want to sound to redundant for those who are already up to speed. If you are not completely familiar, here is me addressing concerns. At one point I took on all challengers for a collective over 10 hours.

[Livestream embed]

If you somehow made it through all those videos and you aren't being paid to believe I am some monster (people who make money off ad revenue get more views the more they lean towards vilifying me) than I am probably preaching to the choir at this point.

At some point I "live interview challenged" the man who is known to take on men who pursue illegal relationships, and he backed out. This is after that same man showed up to my house, trespassed on my property & then acted like I was the weirdo for not wanting an interview when my family was right there, and not at all warned about him or the 6 creepy men he brought with him.

I got the impression that he ran from the interview after pursuing one for so hard, because he began to realize that facing everything I had, all the information, would not be healthy for his position against me. His war on me had already made him tens of thousands of dollars, admitting it was all for nothing would destroy his credibility. Unfortunately, him backing out of the interview did not help his reputation either. When does a legit "predator hunter" ever run from an interview with someone they are claiming is a predator? Never. It makes absolutely no sense.

He, and many others have said that if you run from an interview, you run from the truth. That when you're not willing to face conversation with someone you are accused by or accuse of something, you don't want the truth to be known. You don't want to give people an opportunity to prove you wrong.

Accusations that fear challenge are nothing more than lies. There is no reason to fear your claims of someone else being questioned unless those claims are like a house built on sand.

So in the end, what was accomplished?

The "predator catcher" was told by police "we're having a hard time finding actual victims" live on his show. This is a problem, because it pointed out that no one he had spoken to was an "actual victim" - He then moved on to an alleged victim's advocate who he allegedly asked if I was going to jail. The victim's advocate replied that it was likely I would not (this is only what I was told as I, like most people with emotions, don't enjoy watching people lie about me/wish ill upon me).

This is after the "predator hunter" had promised repeatedly that there was an investigation, this was after he promised jail, this was after he insisted guilt, yet he repeatedly proved he had nothing... so why wouldn't he just admit it already?

Allegedly that person also said, based on what I was told, something along the lines of "something bad should happen to him" (not an exact quote I'm guessing) - Which to this day, I really feel uncomfortable with as I know I have done nothing wrong to any of those women as far as the law goes or my conscience goes. They feel I hurt their feelings, which happens when you dump someone. I sleep well at night because I broke up with all of them all for the following reasons...

Woman 1: Dumped for cheating on me while getting pregnant with another man's baby (while collecting thousands of dollars from me to survive while she was lying, saying she would return) - lying constantly (to a pathological level), having fake melt downs almost every time we argued, physically grabbing me, refusing to let me move, body slamming my door in a rage, threatening to end her own life and frame me for her death (not even joking, the police hauled her away) and more.

Woman 2: Dumped for doing illegal drugs, lying, admitted to being vindictive and more.

Woman 3: Did illegal drugs, lied, apologized for "raping" me, blackmailed me, faked her personality, masked her real intentions, publicly admitted to all this and more.

A lot of people think I don't like older women, they have painted me something I am not, not even remotely. Fact is they don't talk about the 24 year old, the other 24 year old, the 27 year old, the 30+ year old or anyone else because it does not fit the narrative. Apparently those women don't want to play victim either, maybe because they are actually honest about what happened.

The narrative from the "predator catcher" was that I was going to jail. For what crimes? Literally none have been proven. And why? Because none existed as stated by the police themselves. Again "We're having a hard time finding actual victims" - As public outrage does not = crime.

The crimes that did occur were committed against me. I was a victim of slander, sexual extortion, blackmailing, trespassing, vandalism, harassment and more. These are things that ironically, the people going after me proved themselves. When I did a live stream for 3 hours, people struggled to defend or disprove the crimes people committed against me. They were actually shocked by the fact someone tried to have me SWATTED but the police were too smart to fall for the false report. One of many false reports that have been made due to the online toxicity that exists in those who side with false accusers.

So the question becomes, why don't I do anything about it? Now that their house of cards fell apart, the dust is clearing and I'm the one left standing, still painted a criminal without having committed a single crime... so why don't I sue?

Woman 1: Net worth, likely nothing.

Woman 2: Net worth, likely nothing.

Woman 3: Net worth, likely nothing.

Every last one of them, the last time I checked, was a hard core drug addict. We're talking people who post pictures online of them posing with their drugs. One even said she can't go to sleep at night without first getting high. So why would they have money?

I actually paid Woman 2 at one point $9,000 to run my business email, you know what she said she spent it on? Drugs and makeup.

The "predator catcher" and his finances? Every time you look him up, there is an article on how he has no money whatsoever. He was evicted from his home, lost in multiple court settlements losing tons of money & even went to jail because he was so broke and bounced a check at one point and had to turn himself into the police.

So now I'm left here, with no financial compensation for what I went through and I'm simply not the kind of person who is in a position to sue based on principal. Essentially that would be letting them hurt me more than I already have been.

But why not go to the police? This girl admitted to sexually extorting me right, she did already publicly admit to it so? Problem is, unlike them, I'm not vengeful. I don't want to see them suffer, I don't want to take away their freedom. What I want is to literally see them all move on with their lives, and get over the fact that I didn't want to be with them. I want them to get over the fact I know they are criminals, liars & generally horrible people who would try to ruin an innocent person's life - They have to live with themselves, but that's why I dumped them, so I don't have to live with them.

But they have not moved on have they... I was quite famous at one point, and they were not... they hated me for how many times I was rude to them. How many times I said mean things like "You are a criminal" and "You're a liar" and "I don't want to sleep with you." and "Get out of my life" - These things hurt feelings... so what did they get out of it?

Woman 1: Now promoting her new album, started a GoFundMe and got thousands of dollars.

Woman 2: Now promoting her adult pics site, achieved a high level of clout to promote her YouTube channel.

Women 3: Associated with both a GoFundMe & a venmo, said to have made thousands of dollars as well.

The "predator catcher": Now tens of thousands of dollars richer as well.

Me? Well... my career is in shambles, my reputation is destroyed & they all successfully ruined me.

I lost my Patreon, both my networks dropped me, I lost my YouNow account & I was temporarily banned from Twitch... why? Well the sites that spoke to me said it was because of "doxxing" - What they are referring to was me posting a loving text from Woman 2 to my Twitter. We were saying nice things to each other and I was reflecting on how good things were at one point. I was expressing how sad it was that things went south. The problem? I didn't have her name in my phone anymore, so at the top of the screen shot? Her number. An issue I corrected within minutes, but, it was already too late. I made a mistake for minutes, and corrected it, but lost an unknown amount of money as a result.

The people who already hated me responded by doxxing not only me, but my significant other and my immediate family members. They posted their numbers, their addresses, everything.

And how did they pay for that? For responding to accidentally forgetting to crop out part of a text, with maliciously posting an entire family's address, phone numbers and more?

I don't think they did... and you know what? It doesn't completely matter. I don't care if they get away with it. It's not my business.

What matters is that everyone learns from this. That I never trust anyone to be honest again. That I always expect the worst in people from now on. That I never allow people who use drugs in my life again. That I never give people second and third chances. That I cut malicious liars out of my life the moment they lie. That I shut myself off to being a sucker like I was so many times, a bleeding heart.

So that's my experience. People say I lie, and yet the truth comes out eventually... and regardless of them refusing to be confronted live online in an interview, to put their words to the test, the truth isn't something you can just change or run from.

I did my part, I said it all, I took all challengers, and I came out in the end, still knowing who I am, what I went through - and literally everyone who confronted me failed to prove any crime occurred. They failed to defend the crimes the others actually committed... the truth, won.

So hate me or hate me, doesn't change what happened. Doesn't change the fact that I stood, while everyone else took a knee.